In case you didn't know, Ernie Els won this past weekend at the Honda Classic.
His victory added to his proclamation that he wants to regain the top spot in the world over Tiger Woods, something that seems as likely as me being called in to perform open-heart surgery. Actually, I might have a better chance, with my superb hand-eye coordination and ability to cut shit really well with a knife.
I have never understood why golfers are so convinced on talking about their aspiration to eclipse El Tigre. You want to best Tiger Woods in the World Golf Rankings Ernie? Guess who else does? ME! Also, the guy that sits next to me, that said he whiffs a lot with his three-wood. Yeah, he wants to beat Tiger. Also, that same guy, he really wants to sleep with Jessica Alba and win the Powerball and eat steak and mashed potatoes for dinner every night but never gain an ounce of weight.
This was Ernie's first PGA Tour win since 2004. In that same stretch, Tiger won 23 times. I'm pretty sure there is a great Daniel Tosh line about this that I would print if it wasn't so damn inappropriate.
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