It's Masters Week and You're A Prick

I tell you one thing, most of the people I know are pricks.

My best friends? Pricks. Family? All pricks. Girlfriends and ex-girlfriends? She-pricks.

I always thought I was alone in this mentality until I read that Paul Azinger thinks the same about Nick Faldo.

Well, let me rephrase that - Paul Azinger thinks everyone thinks this way of Nick Faldo.

Azinger told "The Mail" this about Faldo:

"Nick Faldo has tried to redefine himself, some people have bought it, some have not.

"But if you're going to be a prick and everyone hates you, why do you think that just because you're trying to be cute and funny on air now that the same people are all going to start to like you?"

"The bottom line is that the players from his generation and mine really don't want to have anything to do with him."

Personally, I think this is a great approach to the Ryder Cup this season, as both are coaches of their respective teams. You know, Europe keeps kicking our asses around the playground, so let's give them something the coach can pin on the billboard before the matches begin in the fall.

Other things Americans should say about the European team:

Tiger Woods on Colin Montgomerie - "I've always said if I was Scottish, overweight and a touch of an ass, I'd want to be Colin Montgomerie."

Phil Mickelson on Ian Poulter - "One bonus of gaining all this weight? Nobody would ever suggest those weird ass clothes for me."

David Toms on Sergio Garcia - "Two words - flaming homosexual."

Just some suggestions.