It might not be the finals everyone wanted, but I'm sure there will be a lot of birdies and a lot of made putts Sunday in Marana. [FanHouse]

What Did You Think of Tiger Woods This Week?

Another Tiger Woods poll. Vote, or else you will be banned.

(Couldn't bane someone, even if my name was Shane Blogspot.)

What were your thoughts on Tiger Woods this week?
	Disappointed, we wanted more
	Content, he took eight months off
	Happy, just glad he's back
pollcode.com free polls

Phil Mickelson is the Accenture's only hope, the article. Check it. [FanHouse]

A Few Accenture Predictions

Hey all.

I never predict things because you never know what is going to happen in sports ever.

Anyway, I'm breaking my rule here.

Quarterfinals

Rory McIlroy vs. Camilo Villegas

Ernie Els vs. Phil Mickelson

Sean O'Hair vs. Paul Casey

Jim Furyk vs. Oliver Wilson

Semifinals

Villegas vs. Mickelson

Casey vs. Furyk

Finals

Villegas vs. Casey

Champion

Villegas

Thoughts? Am I crazy? Do you agree? Let me hear it in comments please. Gracias.

Why Being a Professional Golfer Would Be Awesome, The Adam Scott Edition

There aren't many jobs in the world better than being a PGA Tour golfer. If you win you have a two year window where you can't be fired. If you finish in like 30th place you still win $30,000 and you are treated like a prince and each and every tour event (not to mention your wife is treated like the queen).

On top of that, you can literally snap your fingers at times and have something done up.

That is where we run into Adam Scott, who switched putters this week. He said in the off-season he was home and started tooling around with a mallet putter. He then made this phone call.

"When I was a kid, I putted with a mallet until I was about 17," he said. "I was just sitting at home this winter and I took a mallet back down to the putting green and really liked it. I decided that I had to call Scotty [Cameron] and have him make me something like it. He whipped one up in about a week!"

Oh Scott Cameron, I could really use a super neat mallet putter (pictured above). Do you have a minute? Just don't forget the AS on the back of it so I don't get it mixed up with the other prototypes on the putting green!

Sigh. These guys have it made. If you make it on tour and can avoid shanking the ball or passing out drunk in a Hooters, you are basically set for a while.

Live Blog, Day Two, is LIVE!

Alright, get yourself over to my live chat about Tiger Woods and his match against Tim Clark. If you come and mention Dogs That Chase Cars, you win a free t-shirt!


(But it will be one of my old gym t-shirts, and they don't smell very good. Still, free.)

Quick Accenture Round Two Update

I have no clue if you are keeping up with the Accenture, but a quick update right now.

First, why in the world is the Golf Channel not showing more of this tournament? Someone please answer this for me because it is killing me. Phil Mickelson, who is 1-up on Zach Johnson, has already played six holes and we're getting zero action on that match.

Davis Love III and Justin Leonard are all square through five holes, as is Anthony Kim and Oliver Wilson through four holes.

A quick note -- I'm live blogging Tiger Woods round again so swing by FanHouse and check it out.

Here is all the information you need to know about Tim Clark vs. Tiger Woods today at the Accenture. I punched out their records, what needs to happen and who I think will win (I'm sure you'll be shocked at that answer). [FanHouse]

Tiger Woods Gave Us What We Wanted

Not a lot of people have Jupiter like expectations and deliver. In sports, you can probably narrow it down to three men -- LeBron James, Rafael Nadal and Tiger Woods. These three men are arguably the best at what they do, and day in and day out they produce the best possible product for, say, a 40 year old man going to his first basketball/tennis/golf game.

Woods did it again today. Basically teeing it up with the entire sports world on his back, Tiger came out unlike anybody else. Wrapped in a beautiful aqua Nike shirt, Tiger stripped his first tee shot, a little draw fairway wood, and followed it up with a dart to set up a birdie. His stats at that point in '09 -- one hole, one birdie. How do you follow that up? By tossing a bombed long iron on the second hold to around three feet for a kick-in eagle and a two-up lead in his match against Brendan Jones.

I played pretty serious competitive golf in my life. I've had the serious butterflies bouncing around in my stomach like an out of control racquetball. It is a scary feeling. I remember a moment in junior golf when Justin Leonard was watching my group tee off, and I was so nervous, I basically just swung with whatever my muscle could produce so I could leave the situation. Take those nerves and multiply it by Woods' yearly paycheck. That is what he deals with, year in and year out, and the guy never fails to impress us all.

I know I can get a little high on Tiger at times, coming off as a Woods lover more than an objective voice in this written world. At times I wish I didn't do that. This is not one of those times.

Tiger might not win tomorrow against Tim Clark. He could go out and struggle here or there and fall to a guy that made zero bogeys today. Nobody knows what the golf world will bring at the Accenture. It's just amazing to think that a guy can roll out of bed in the morning knowing that all eyes rest on him, and rise to the occasion like it's a friendly match against your father-in-law.

There is focus, and then there is Tiger's focus, and I don't think either are even close to each other.

Stan Badz, US PGA Tour/Getty Images

Tiger Live Blog is LIVE!

Come on over, and chat it up during Tiger's round. Don't be scared.

Accenture Match Play Update

I just thought it was worth tossing up a quick update, since the bracket layout with 64 players is tougher to analyze than our economic exit strategy.

So, here goes --

-- Phil Mickelson is keeping the hot streak going from the Northern Trust win. So far today, he's three up on Angel Cabrera through seven holes, with all pars and three birdies. Not a bad start for Lefty.

-- The battle of three letter last names is quickly going to Anthony Kim. The five seed in the Sam Snead bracket (why do they name these brackets after famous golfers? That really kills me.) is five up on Wen-Tang Lin through 11 holes.

-- Camilo Villegas, the three seed in the Tiger Woods division (it's really the Bobby Jones but who are we kidding?), is five up on Rod Pampling through nine holes. Villegas has won the last five holes of his match including a bogey win on the ninth hole. Awesome.

-- Stewart Cink, who made it to the finals last year against Tiger, is all square through 12 holes against Richard Sterne.

More updates to come. Remember, live blog starts a 2 PM Eastern. Don't be late.

MARK RALSTON, AFP/Getty Images

A Few Quick Links

The golf "experts" at FanHouse all talked about their predictions for Tiger's week at the Accenture. A lot of people picked him to do well. Fancy that. [FanHouse]

The Armchair Golfer has yet another interview with Tiger's knee. The knee is surprisingly politically correct. [Armchair Golfer]

Like I mentioned earlier, I will be live blogging Tiger's entire round. You can follow it here, starting at 2 PM ET.

Greg Norman Isn't Very Realistic

In Chris Rock's latest stand-up, he jokes that when you lack something, you have the ability to make fun of something that has it, but when you're abundant in certain areas, it isn't socially acceptable to dog someone. An example he uses is while a tall person can't make fun of a shorter person for being short, a short guy can dog tall people all he wants.

I think the same goes here. Greg Norman, who is worth millions upon hundreds of millions, announced that he believes golf purses should be cut down out of respect for all the economic turmoil the world is in. Riiiight.

"Prize money's being scaled back in Europe, I wouldn't be surprised if prize money's scaled back in the US just out of respect to every citizen and taxpayer over there who's suffering dramatically. It seems like on the PGA Tour the players are still playing for a million dollars first week, like they're recession-proof."

As my friend MDS at FanHouse points out, this is an easy argument to make when you are already worth more money than most on tour and don't need the money for you livelihood.

We set a mark in sports where we pay people a certain amount of money and that isn't going to change. LeBron James isn't take a pay cut, Derek Jeter isn't taking a pay cut and the PGA Tour golfers shouldn't just because everyone else is struggling for money.

Would I like to see the purses shrink a little to make it more important to play in more golf tournaments? Sure, I think that seems like a decent enough idea. Do I think it's going to happen? Probably not.

Maybe if Norman is so concerned with the public perception of rich golfers, he should sale his boat and plane. Or his wine company. Or his clothing company.

Today is the Day!

Excuse us golf folks for being overly excited for the Tiger Woods return, but writing about golf the last few months has been rather difficult.

You see, for the most part, the general public cares about a short list of people for each sport, if any. You get Tom Brady and Peyton Manning in the NFL, the Williams sisters in tennis, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant in the NBA and Alex Rodriguez in baseball.

Other than those names, people that care about sports from afar aren't really paying attention. Nobody bothered the general public about Michelle Wie earning her tour card or guys like Chez Reavie winning his first tour event. Those stories fall of soft ears to the percentages.

Now, Tiger can grab everyone's attention again and the golf world will again be thrust into the forefront of sports. I'm excited, you should be excited, and you should join me for my live blog of the event all day. It's going to be a good one.

Brendan Jones

Every golf news outlet worth their weight in copy this week has taken a second to examine just exactly who Brendan Jones is. As you probably know now, Jones is the poor soul who will be facing Tiger Woods on Wednesday.

I spent some time earlier in the week digging up all I could about Jones, and came up with enough to write a post about it over at FanHouse.

Some of the highlights of the guy's career:

-- He's 33 and from Australia.
-- He won eight Japan Tour events in a span of six years.
-- In 2004, he played eight Nationwide Tour events, carding five top-10s with a win mixed in and earning nearly $300,000.
-- He's a Pisces.

This will be the most pressure Jones has ever had on his golf game, so here is hoping he doesn't throw up directly on his slacks. Could you imagine if he really took down Woods?

The Golf Channel Takes Tiger's Return to the Next Level

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a story dogging The Golf Channel. It was basically a knock at what they don't do that they should, since they are in such a unique position to give people golf 24/7.

And then they go and do this ... and totally redeem themselves!

TGC got Samuel L. Jackson, who is pretty picky about his roles in movies, to do a re-read of his famous speech in "Pulp Fiction" for the return of Woods on Wednesday. I have to admit, anything that includes a little history mixed in with some Tiger golfing gets my chill bumps a-rising.

Well played, Golf Channel. I have to give credit where credit is due.



h/t Awful Announcing

One of my Favorite Golf Commercials Ever

Thank you Nike, for this. You really do nail the feeling it must have been with Tiger Woods out of the spotlight and everyone else getting the headlines. Nice work, peeps.

Here is an interview with Cindy Morgan, or Laci Underall of Caddyshack. Read it, love it, and then go watch the movie once more. [Bushwood Country Club]

What To Do When You're Bored

Hello all. We hardly ever take a step away from golf here at DTCC, but I saw this little exercise and thought it might be a fun little tool. Call it "Getting to know your editor." Or, call it "a blog post I'll skip for sure.

iTunes Number of Songs -- 3,760
Most Recently Played Song -- "Stick by You" by Andrew Lipke
Most Played Song -- "Amanda's Song" by Adam Carroll

First Song Alphabetically -- "Absolutely Zero" by Jason Mraz
Last Song Alphabetically -- "The Zephyr Song" by RHCP
First Song Numerically -- "1-900 Lover" by Pat Green
Last Song Numerically -- "1979" by Smashing Pumpkins

Shortest Song -- "Good Intentions" by My Morning Jacket (0:06)
Longest Song -- "Nine Feet Underground" by Caravan (22:43)

First Album Alphabetically -- Achtung Baby by U2
Last Album Alphabetically -- You Can Tell Georgia by Joe Purdy
First Album Numerically -- #1 Pop Hits of the 60s and 70s
Last Album Numerically -- 808s and Heartbreaks by Kanye West

First Five Songs That Pop Up on Shuffle
"When the World Ends" by Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds
"Heart of Fire" by Cory Morrow
"Handlebars" by Flobots
"Holiday From Real" by Jack's Mannequin
"Highwayman" by Johnny Cash

Here is my Monday Pin Placement feature on FanHouse. Check it out, just because I wrote like 1,000 words and at least six or seven of them make sense. [FanHouse]

Your Monday Morning Tiger Swing Video

Hey, it's not in slow-mo!

Tiger Woods Major Poll

How many majors will Tiger Woods win this season?
	Zero
	One
	Two
	Three
	Grand Slam!
pollcode.com free polls

Phil Mickelson is leading the Northern Trust Open by four shots after a second round 62. It was ten shots better than his Friday 72. Know why I know that? Because I'm a math GENIUS! [FanHouse]

Your Saturday Tiger Woods Swing Video

This is a Swing Vision of Tiger from '06 at Torrey Pines. Honestly, the guy has the perfect golf swing. Perfect. Incredible, really.

Weekend Question ...

Hello loyal readers. How goes the battle?

I played golf this Monday with my uncle Doug and had an interesting experience. On one of the par-5s, I nearly yanked a shot back in the hole for an Alcatraz (or double eagle, whichever you prefer).

My question to you out there is, have you ever seen or had a double eagle? If so, leave the comments/experience in the comments. If not, just leave in the comments what you think it would be like this.

Phil Mickelson, STOP WEARING THE WHITE BELT!

I talked about Phil Mickelson's obsession with the new craze that is the white belt, but I was kidding. Obviously. I'm a blogger. I hate everything.

I do, in fact, that Mickelson needs to avoid this white belt fashion statement at all costs. The guy has lost weight (WE KNOW THIS!) and he looks a little better than he used to (OF COURSE HE DOES!) but it isn't like the guy is a feather.

Why would you attract attention to your waistline when it isn't exactly thinthinthin.

Just avoid the all black with white belt look, Philly. We are glad you are playing well but not when you have to rock this look. It ain't good.

Scott Holleran, Getty Images

Checking Your Bags vs. Renting Clubs

Golf Digest had an interesting article about the aging debate over renting clubs versus dragging your sticks to the destination.

With the rising costs of checking bags these days, the numbers don't seem as lopsided as they used to and the pain and hassle of taking your golf clubs on trips seem even more annoying when you're tossing the airlines $50 for a round-trip flight.

I will never rent clubs, just because the parts that kill me are never talked about (grips that haven't been replaced in a year, beat up irons, graphite shafts, etc.) and I worked at a top resort in Scottsdale and saw has poorly the rentals were kept up.

The article is worth a read though. I guess if you are going somewhere where golf might just be a part of your trip one day or something, renting is the obvious deal. Also, it mentioned a website, Golf Clubs Away, which has done a great job on making renting clubs even easier and also pisses me off that I didn't think of this idea in the first place.

Holding The Door Open Will Get You Shanked

Here is an interesting story about doing something nice for another person (the Golden Rule way!) and it backfiring.

A 50 year old gentleman (no, really) in Florida was leaving a gas station and decided to do what any person with a little upbringing would do by holding the door open for the man entering.

The gentleman that entered didn't say thank you and Gramps called him out on.

Police said the 38-year-old man did not thank the other man, who responded by uttering a sarcastic “thank you.”

The two men got into an argument before the 38-year-old went to his car to get a golf club, which he allegedly used to strike the victim several times in the stomach and legs.

Yeah, so morale of this story. If you try to be a nice guy to someone and the person is totally unreceptive to said generosity, make sure to be the first to smoke the guy in the guy with a five-iron. If you wait, you could get clubbed.

Get Yourself Ready for This

For the next five days, I will post a video a day of Tiger Woods swing, because it is f-ing awesome and there isn't anything more pretty unless Megan Fox wanted to take me to dinner in a sun dress. Megan, if you're out there reading, I'm taken at the moment so you might want to wait a month or two.

65 Reasons I'm Happy Tiger Woods Is Coming Back to Golf

Here is 65 reasons I'm glad Tiger Woods is back in the field.

1996 Las Vegas Invitational, Walt Disney World/Oldsmobile Classic. 1997 Mercedes Championships, Masters Tournament, GTE Byron Nelson Golf Classic, Motorola Western Open. 1998 BellSouth Classic. 1999 Buick Invitational, Memorial Tournament, Motorola Western Open, PGA Championship, World Golf Championships-NEC Invitational, National Car Rental Golf Classic/Disney, THE TOUR Championship, World Golf Championships-American Express Championship. 2000 Mercedes Championships, AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, Bay Hill Invitational, Memorial Tournament, U.S. Open Championship, British Open Championship, PGA Championship, World Golf Championships-NEC Invitational, Bell Canadian Open. 2001 Bay Hill Invitational, THE PLAYERS Championship, Masters Tournament, Memorial Tournament, World Golf Championships-NEC Invitational. 2002 Bay Hill Invitational presented by Cooper Tires, Masters Tournament, U.S. Open Championship, Buick Open, World Golf Championships-American Express Championship. 2003 Buick Invitational, World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championship, Bay Hill Invitational presented by Cooper Tires, 100th Western Open presented by Golf Digest, World Golf Championships-American Express Championship. 2004 World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championship. 2005 Buick Invitational, Ford Championship at Doral, Masters Tournament, British Open Championship, World Golf Championships-NEC Invitational, World Golf Championships-American Express Championship. 2006 Buick Invitational, Ford Championship at Doral, British Open Championship, Buick Open, PGA Championship, World Golf Championships-Bridgestone Invitational, Deutsche Bank Championship, World Golf Championships-American Express Championship. 2007 Buick Invitational, World Golf Championships-CA Championship, Wachovia Championship, World Golf Championships-Bridgestone Invitational, PGA Championship, BMW Championship, THE TOUR Championship presented by Coca-Cola. 2008 Buick Invitational, World Golf Championships-Accenture Match Play Championship, Arnold Palmer Invitational presented by MasterCard, U.S. Open Championship.

Now That Was an Interesting Time to Announce You're Coming Back

I just wanted to point this out, since every news outlet in the world is announcing that Tiger Woods is coming back next week for the Accenture Match Play.

Tiger announced his comeback the same day that Phil Mickelson made news. It was the first time Phil had made news all year. He shot a 63 at the Northern Trust. I wrote about it here. It was, at one point, the top sports story on FanHouse.

Phil makes news and then Tiger announces he is coming back? Hummm (Scratches chin) ... seems about right.

Charlie Axel Woods (and family)

How cute is this kiddo? Enjoy this treat from the Woods family.






Photos courtesy of Dom Furore, Woods Family/Getty Images

If you enjoy the photos, go donate a couple of bucks to the Tiger Woods Foundation. I know it is tough times, but it is a good cause.

Holy Hell, What Did I Do To Deserve This?

Here are some words you don't normally see together -- "golf" and "rap video."

Some guy named Doug DeGrood, or as I like to think of him, "whitest human on the planet," made up some golf rap about Bethpage or something. I honestly have no idea what it was about, because 30 seconds into it, I started ramming my head into my apartment wall and trying to swallow broken glass.

This has to be the first time ever that someone said the words "penal" in a rap. Ever.

My Monday Morning Pin Placement ran on Tuesday, which has to make sense, right? Right?!?! Right!??!?!!??! [FanHouse]

Dudes are explaining (and hating) on Michelle Wie's latest round on the LPGA. [Bushwood]

An Open Question To the Readers ...

I have an honest question to the people that tend to read this blog. Do you get excited to watch the celebrities at Pebble Beach?

It isn't that I hate the pro-am format, I just hate how much time CBS (And others) give to the celebrities. If I wanted to watch people hack it around, I'd go to the local driving range or call up some of buddies or try to teach a girl how to play golf.

I'm watching golf on Saturday/Sunday because I want to see people play well.

Am I the only one with this opinion? Honestly, I'm interested. Drop your reply in the comments if you don't mind.

Some Girl Named "Michelle Wie" Is Leading SBS Open

That sure as hell didn't take long.

After two rounds in Hawaii, local Michelle Wie is leading her first tournament as a full-time member of the LPGA, tied with Angela Stanford (who went to TCU) at 8-under.

Wie opened with a six-under 66 and followed that up with a two-under 70 to find herself at the top of the leaderboard.

I talked to Michelle yesterday about her round, specifically her motivation and how she feels she got some comfortable in her current skin.

"I really think it is Shane Bacon," Wie said. "He's done a great job of pumping me up and making me feel special through his exceptional writing and positive anecdotes. If it wasn't for Shane, I have no idea where I'd be today."

Wow, I really don't know what to say. That's really nice of Michelle to say. You can follow her round right here, which is nice.

Andy Lyons, Getty Images

Is This More Pleasing to the Eye?

I have to admit, I'm a Scotty Cameron freak. Not the guy, but his putters. They are awesome. That is, all but the Futura thing that he came out with a few years ago. Man, that think was ugly as sin.

Cameron is coming out with the Studio Select Kombi mallet putters as another attempt at the mallet-style putter, and said one of his goals was to make the new Kombi more pleasing to the eye.

You guys be the judge. Which one looks better?





I'm going with option A.

Michelle Wie is a Shot Back at the SBS Open

I guess that is one way to start your season. In her first tournament as a full-time member of the LPGA, 19-year-old Michelle Wie fired a 6-under 66 to be t-2.

Wie made eight birdies and two bogeys on her round and is one shot back of Angela Stanford in Hawaii.

How did our favorite lesbian talker, Anna Rawson, do after her off-hand comments about the old tour finish? She's eight-over through 16 holes, which means she either didn't finish or quit. I'd go with quit.

Hitting the Links

I didn't know this, but Adam Scott, who is now Kate Hudson-less, is switching from Burberry over to Ashworth. I guess all he needs know is the dusty hair and he will be Fred Couples 2.0. [Golf.com]

Datrek Golf bags is doing some deal where if you purchase one of their specially marked bags, you get in 17 PGA Tour tournaments this season. I need a new golf bag. Datrek, send one my way and I'll try to get the word out a little louder. [Armchair Golfer]

Butch Harmon said Tiger Woods could have ended his career and Obama's presidency run with that play in the U.S. Open. One of those two things are true. [FanHouse]

If you didn't see "Ochoa and the Others" by Jay Busbee, you missed out. [Devil Ball Golf]

Also, a little heads up. FanHouse is starting up a Podcast thingy and I was a "guest" today on it, talking about Tiger's comeback, Michelle Wie and the lesbian comments. When it is available, I'll link her up.

Anthony Kim Doesn't Like Malaysian Greens

Anthony Kim skipped the Pebble Beach Pro-Am to play in the Maybank Malaysian Open. That is a European Tour event. I haven't spoken to Anthony today, but I can guarantee you this -- Kim wishes he wasn't in Malaysia right now.

AK had 39 putts today on route to a YIKEES!!!! six-over 78 to put him in a tie for 145th place. After the round, Kim said this.

"I don't know if I've ever putted on greens this slow."

He also said he was going to skip the practice putting green because practicing is stupid he didn't want his putter to end up in two pieces.

Dude feels your pain, Anthony. I feel your pain.

Justin Timberlake Continues To Make Me Hate My Life

I mean, you can't be great at everything, can you? Three days after performing with like every famous person ever at the Grammys (and probably looking at even better naked females after), Justin Timberlake is at Pebble Beach, the best course west of Augusta National in our country, to play with, whatdoyaknow?, Fred Couples, at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am.

He also has a sponsor deal with Callaway. And is cool. And as much as I want to hate him, I can't. I just hate my own self more. Maybe I need a pick-me-up. Chinese massage parlor, put me down for 3:30 PM!!! Take that, JT!

Marc Feldman/Getty Images

No U.S. Open For Cherry Hills

For most of 2008, I was a Colorado resident. I played golf all over the area, and am here to tell you that the reports of added length with all golf shots are true. At first you might not totally grasp the added length, but catch a driver in the sweet spot and check where that bad boy landed. I promise you'll be happily surprised.

That is why one writer over at Golf.com doesn't think Cherry Hills. host of the 1938, '60 and '78 U.S. Opens just isn't long enough to host our nation's championship, even with the current renovation and added length.

... the 2012 U.S. Amateur will be held at Cherry Hills Country Club in Denver. The latter proclamation was immediately interpreted by some as a sign that the U.S. Open would go to Cherry Hills in the following decade, since in the recent past the USGA has used the Amateur as a dress rehearsal for hosting the Open.

Along those lines, the course is currently being lengthened from 7,160 yards to about 7,500, a change at least partly undertaken with thoughts of luring back the Open ... The USGA also let it be known it doesn't think there's enough space at Cherry Hills for the Open's infrastructure — TV compounds, hospitality tents, etc. — but what no one seems to want to admit is that Cherry Hills will never see the Open again because even with renovations, the course is simply too short.

Strangest thing about all this. I had a conversation yesterday with one of the golf writers at FanHouse about the current reconstructions taking place at Pebble Beach for the upcoming 2010. They are adding length to the famous oceanfront golf course to make it more difficult for today's golfers.

I am not a historian of any sorts when it comes to this game, but I do believe in one thing. If you want to make these Open courses tougher, tighten the hell out of the fairways. Sure, the course has to have some length, but a 430-yard par-4 with a 15 yard wide fairway and devastating rough will bring back the art of the long iron.

Trust me, as someone who isn't shy with the swing speed, medium rough is about as intimidating as a girl with a "Take Me Home" sign hanging around her neck. You need to think. You need to worry.

The USGA needs to go back to its bread and butter. Make the courses more difficult with options, not with length.

The Golf Channel Sucks

I cannot stress this enough when talking about The Golf Channel. I want it to succeed. I wish it would be great. It is television and golf combined. That would be like someone finding a way to fuse Mexican food and sex (but less strange).

The point is, the Golf Channel continues to fail and the broadcasting continues to get outperformed by anyone with a golf booth. The jokes are tired, the remarks are boring and the whole thing is like one big viewing of "The Da Vinci Code" movie. You want it to be awesome, it just isn't.

This news should come as no surprise. One of the broadcaster is in trouble for making some really stupid remark about a spectator's t-shirt.

Magee, serving as a roving reporter during the second-round broadcast, told the network he believed he was off the air when he mentioned to fellow analyst Gary McCord that he had just seen a fan wearing a T-shirt that read, "I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a brownie."

Golf Channel spokesman Dan Higgins said the network received several e-mail complaints from viewers about the remark. The Golf Channel's online message boards have been filled with fan feedback on the matter.

"He was disciplined for that," Higgins said, from Orlando. "It was a mistake. He's fairly new in the role of on-course reporter, which is no excuse, but he has been disciplined, yes.

"It was inappropriate."

For a brownie comment? I'm surprised people that watch The Golf Channel even know about pot brownies.

Whatever. This is the perfect example of why The Golf Channel needs a makeover. They need to get some people in there that have fun talking about golf, and actually enjoy broadcasting what is going on.

They also could steer away from all the funny quips. "Vijay Singh would sure like to make this birdie sing." Sigh. Sadly, if anyone reads that sentence, it might be heard around the country next week.

Update: I'm hearing this brownie comment is more sexual. Which is even dumber, but thanks to Scott for the update. I guess it is settled -- I'm not a pedophile or a sexual predator! Mom, print this out and put it on the fridge!

Tiger and Elin Welcome First Boy, Expectations Become Increasingly Ridiculous

When I woke up this morning and look at the email I had been sent about Tiger and Elin Woods welcoming their second child into this world, my thoughts were probably similar to yours.

"Wow this boy is going to be expected to be great, very fast."

Charlie Axel Woods was born on Sunday, February 8, on a day that, if healthy, Tiger would have probably won his favorite tournament on tour, the Buick Invitational at Torrey Pines.

Since Charlie and Elin are both in good health, and since I already watched the obligatory "Sportscenter" graphic on Tiger's achievements as a child (honestly, what would that line have been in Las Vegas. "Chances ESPN compares new child to Tiger on the first day of his birth," would we be talking about 1000-to-1? 100,000-to-1? Would it have not even been on the board.), I guess all that is left is to offer my congratulations.

I'm sure this kid will be athletic and good looking and shooting par in diapers. I also have a decent feeling his college fund might not go overlooked.

Scott Halleran, Getty Images

At Least Phil Mickelson's Fashion Is Improving

I'm not sure if you took in the Buick Invitational today, but if you got to the CBS coverage early, boy was Phil Mickelson a treat.

For the first time that I can rememeber, Mickelson was sporting a white belt, which is interesting since that fade hit golf about three years ago. It is nice he is jumping on board. Honestly, the long sleeve look he has going isn't my favorite, so I'm glad he is breaking that up with the whiteness.

The pimpy look didn't really help his golf however. Mickelson had a four-putt on the 6th hole today and shot 73-75 over the weekend to finish (currently) t-42. I'm planning on writing up something today or tomorrow about Mickelson's current golf, which should be interesting.

It won't be all about belts, but I promise it will include some reference to a flag of the same color. Get it? A white flag? Hiiiilarious.

Jeff Gross, Getty Images

Some FanHouse Stuff I've Knocked Out Of Late

Hola. Lets get to it.

Rich Beem found his own sponsors for this season.

If Tiger Woods and Barack Obama tee it up, can I be the playing reporter?

My guess on when we will see Tiger back on the PGA Tour.

Kenny Perry is the best golfer on tour right now. Period.

I Just Don't Get It

That is Boo Weekley talking about stuff. I don't get the hype. I don't get it at all. The guy drives me as insane as right-to-left five footers (I'm a lefty).

Explain to me the love for this guy please. I just can't get it.