Notta Chance Man

I hate to break it with all the International players that religiously read my blog (Hey Adam!), but you might as well change your plane tickets.

Things that don't happen in golf - John Daly hosts the weekly devotional service, Tiger Woods folds in a major and Americans, whether it be Ryder or Presidents, don't go down in singles matches.

Maybe the American's DNA was made to just play individually, coming from back in the U.S. Junior Amateur days through all the WGC match-play tournaments, but the guys just rock and roll like USC football on Sundays in Cups.

It is pretty crazy how our team of Tiger, Phil and the rest can dominate the likes of Vijay, Ernie, My Queer, Adam, the Australians and all the household names making up Gary Players lineup but get smoked by guys like Robert Karlsson and Phillip Price in the Ryder Cup.

Maybe it's the pressure, maybe it has something to do with the Europeans "comradery" or maybe they just outplay us once a week, but I'd love to see this fire come out of the American players next year, at say, the Valhalla.

Paul Chiasson/AP

(Also, I just moved Woody Austin up to my "favorite player I'd never want to be a rules official against" list)

President Cup Roller Coaster Tickets on Sale

After being in Japan for nearly two weeks free of sports, watching all the President Cup action was the perfect sports appetizer for the upcoming college football/NFL weekend.

For some reason, the International team got confused with the Ryder Cup format, thinking the matches actually start on Friday, forgetting to show up yesterday. The IT team got wrecked on Thursday, but came back pretty strong today, winning all but the obscure team of Steve Stricker and Scott Verplank.

The biggest IT tech statement came when team juggernaut Tiger Woods and Jim Furyk got plane delayed (these days, more likely than a train wreck) 5-and-4 by Vijay Singh and Stuart Appleby. El Tigre continued his President Cup four-ball woes, making only three birdies in 14 holes on a Royal Montreal course that was torn apart by the field today.

The biggest counter punch of Friday came by charismatic and crazy Woody Austin, who feel head-first into a pond after trying to extract his fully-submerged ball from a pond on 14 and then birdied 16, 17 and 18 to halve his match while having his caddy carry both his bag and the walking corpse that was David Toms.

I have a good feeling that Tiger and Jimmy won't be paired together come Saturday afternoon.



Halleran/WireImage

Tiger's Deal with Gatorade?

Maybe it was just me, but I never understood how Tiger Woods didn't have a deal with a big drink company.

Well, according to I Want to be a Sports Agent, Tiger is snuggling in the bed with Gatorade, continuing his follow-up of all that Jordan has put down in front of him.

The story says the deal could be five-years, $100 million and might include a Tiger Woods Gatorade Signature drink. I'd sure love to see his tax return form.

If I Wrote About Every Tiger Victory, This Would be My 60th Post

I hate to say this, but being a golf or tennis beat writer for a major magazine must be a pretty "Groundhog Day" type job. You wake up in the morning, check out Tiger Woods or Roger Federer and write a whole bunch of "amazing performance" and "never seen such dominance in the history of the sport."

Woods carded his 60th win at the BMW Championships today, making a bogey-free 63 look almost boring, painting the scoreboard a little more red than his opponents.

El Tigre had two bogeys and a double-bogey this week, meaning that he succeeded on 69 of the 72 holes of the tournament. Since complimenting Tiger's golf ability makes as much sense as sending Oprah your tax-return check, I've put together a few more stats that make his year a little more impressive.

41 - Number of rounds Tiger shot under par in 15 tournaments this season, 51.25% of his rounds.

29 - Number of rounds Tiger shot in the 60s this year.

10 - Number of times Tiger has shot over 72 in 2007.

1 - Number of times Tiger finished out of the top-25.

15 for 15 - Cuts made, imagine that.

What a Tiger Win Will Mean

So, imagine you're Tiger Woods. The PGA Tour comes up with this complicated and confusing crazy playoff system to help lull you and some of the other big names into some of the post-PGA Championship tournaments.

Well, you're upset about the money ($10,000,000 , blah-scmillion) and the amount of golf in a row and, errr - you stop complaining when the Joker to your Batman takes home Fedex tourney number two and finds himself in the lead of this crazy thing.

If Tiger can find a way to pull out the BMW Championship today, it will mean that the Tour Championship will be between Woods, Mickelson and a strangely consistent Steve Stricker that just won't go away from the leader board.

With a Woods victory today, he would have won (six times) or finished second (three times) in more than half of the tournaments he played in. I know that this year can't compare to something like 2001 because of the major count, but his consistency has been absolutely sickening.

(On a lighter note - if you're planning on going to see "Good Luck Chuck" and the top three reasons don't include the following, then I don't know what to say to you.
1.) Jessica Alba
2.) Any shot of Alba in her undies
3.)Because hopefully seeing Alba almost naked will make up for the fact that Dane Cook gets to make out with her )

The Best Thing For Golf

Personally, it is hard for me to root for Phil Mickelson to take out Tiger Woods in any golf event.

Mickelson just has never seemed real to me, always sporting a cheesy smile and plodding around faker than a playmates bust size. I used to think Lefty's story of never winning a major was endearing, but like the Red Sox, once the tape is finally broken you lose that pixie dust that made you interesting.

No matter my thoughts, Mickelson taking out Tiger was probably the best thing possible for a sport that is seeing it's huge investment, the Fedex Cup, feverishly treading water.

With Tiger missing the first event and guys like Steve Stricker and K.J. Choi battling for the inaugural playoff crown, top stories like the fall of Michigan and the race for baseball's post-season trumped golf.

With Mickelson's victory this past weekend, paired with Tiger nonetheless, 2008 will have some interesting themes to talk up during the cold months of goofy-golf events. Nobody has really had the opportunity to play with Tiger and beat him outright, something Phil did in an even that everyone was coining Tiger's tourney. I am never going to say that Tiger choked or that this means something, but it is interesting and somewhat refreshing to see Woods, well, lose. The guy doesn't lose. He's a golf machine, producing shot after shot exactly when he needs it.

Maybe with Mickelson's victory, people will see that Tiger can be taken down at times, even when it looks as though he'll run away with it. With this week being the third of the playoffs and Tiger in the field, look for him to try and show everyone again that he is always the one you should be afraid of.

Maybe these playoffs aren't so bad after all.

Tiger vs. Phil, and Some Other Guys Are Playing Too

it is Labor Day, which means nobody really does anything for some reason I'm still not familiar with. You have endless options, from eating some July 4th foods in September to pre-downloading the new Kenny Chesney CD (he's talented), to playing in the hometown golf scramble where you are sure to be paired with the 80-year-old lady that insists she hits her drive even after you've bombed one 315.

If none of those seem appealing, you can plop in front of the discolored flat-screen and enjoy what is sure to be a lot of Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods and hardly any Brett Wetterich and Arron Oberholser (just wait until they string together bogeys). Honestly, I've never seen the sexy appeal of Tiger and Phil playing together, probably because Schmickey can't hold El Tigre's jock in his ever-growing Callaway golf bag, and Tiger just doesn't really care that much about Phil.

The good thing is that if Tiger takes the title (which almost seems inevitable even if he's three shots back), he'll notch his 60th win in 12 years. Again, I studied journalism in college (journalism major = lazy, Keystone Light degree), but I believe that equates to five wins a year. That is almost even more amazing if you look at his 1996 and 1998 seasons where he combined for just two wins.

Happy Labor Day to all - I hope you feel better than that guy that Andy Roddick just beat.

Sorting out the Fedex Cup

So last winter the PGA of America guys are sitting around a table, similar to those David Feherty commercials I assume, trying to figure out a perfect solution to the lack of golf interest. They battle with an idea of moving back a major, trying to hype the President Cup, and finally come up with this Fedex Cup, and then what happens? Steve Freakin' Stricker is leading the damn thing after day one.

I can only imagine that those same men are sitting in front of the televisions with the same hope for a choke job that the producers were in "Tin Cup" when he took the lead and they were complaining about a "driving range pro" winning the tournament.

Stricker is a nice guy, a great story, and could probably use the retirement money eons more than Mr. Woods, but that isn't what makes the cover of Sports Illustrated, does it?

No matter the outcome of week uno, Tiger is in the field this week and if you at his results this year it would be hard to expect anyone else to take the Deutsche Bank Championship this weekend in Boston.

No matter, the Fedex Cup has started out with a little sputter of the engine, but could get a much needed boost this week if El Tigre could find himself in the hunt come Sunday. I wonder if Tiger getting a $10 million dollar retirement check is similar to Paris Hilton getting extra change?

Surprised?

As Tiger makes his way to the 18th green, with 30 feet and three putts to secure his 13th major championship, you have to sit back and marvel at his greatness under the largest of pressures.

Sure, this time it was Woody Allen, a lesser known tour veteran that is probably best known for beating his own head in with his putter, but that is the most impressive thing - no matter what the randomness of people that compete against him, Tiger is always there, always impressive, always composed, and always the best.

This might have been the hardest for Tiger to win with a big lead, but that is probably just a respectable look at what Mr. Woods has done for this sport - take it from obscure hobby to worldwide love.

The different in Tiger and anybody else with a three shot lead on Sunday - did you ever really think that he was going to lose this thing? Was there ever any doubt, even after the three-putt bogey on 14? Hats off to The Swoosh - he never lets us down.

The last of good news for El Tigre - Boo Weekley was nowhere near his scorecard.

Getty Images photo

I Like Tiger's Chances

So the final round is underway and Mr. Woods will be doing what Mr. Woods does - hit a lot of 2-irons, play a little Bethpage Black golf and one of his trailers shoot a 64 or 65 to have a chance.

The only problem - the guys chancing him are Woody Austin, arguably the most nervous golfer on tour, and, well, Stephen Ames (bogeyed his first two holes, still looks more like a tennis player than golfer).

I am one of the many golf fans that love when Tiger is in the picture because of his incredible demeanor and reign over this stupid sport, but there is a fine line to what I love. Tiger can win and I'll be pleased, but when he has more than a two shot lead, it is pretty boring to view. I mean, he just makes a ton of pars and never really tries to hit those crazy Stretch Armstrong-like iron shots from the rough.

Ernie Els is four shots back after Tiger's bogey on two, and is in red figures for the day, so maybe if he could post a round less than 67 it might produce a little chatter, but everyone is chasing the one guy nobody wants to be chasing.

Also, some Englishman named Simon Dyson shot a 64 today to jump into the top-10. If he could have combined with Graham Storm (65 in the first round) in some sort of a country-like best ball thing, that team would really be in the hunt.

If you want anything else on the final round, check out Sons of Sam Malone for a stiffer drink.

Why No Charles?

if you are up and accidentally missed church, you are most likely tuning to the TNT early round coverage of the PGA Championship.

The simple question I have - what sense does it make not to have Charles Barkley in the booth for a couple of hours? I mean, he's under contract with TNT, he is a religious golf fanatic (and man is he GOOOOOD), and he is the funniest person on television.

Well, the network probably has it figured out - I'm sure Bobby Clampett gains more viewers than Barkley would making fun of everybody's butt sweat. My bad - that would be a terrible idea.

Yawn, Stretch, Do Over

Tiger is winning. Every single time I look up he's up another shot.

I wish Woody Austin would hit himself over the head with his putter again or Daly would get a stripper to caddy for him on the last four holes.

Sergio's Solid Month Continues

For some odd reason, Sergio Garcia decided he wanted to make last place money this week after making the cut. The humble, content, lucky El Nino signed an incorrect scorecard and got disqualified, so yeah, this will be another summer to forget for that Garcia guy.

Also, Tiger made par on one, and John Daly is still hitting driver on every hole, even the par-3s. Good times!

The John Daly Conundrum

I've been getting a lot of mixed reviews about everyones favorite insane golfer, John Daly, and I had to weigh in (get it, weigh in...John Daly...slightly overweight, that is an amazing drop).

So he's crazy - he had a ton of talent that he never really had to work at and won two majors on absolute raw talent, man hit ball far. He's landed in more off field troubles than entire football teams, mostly in the immature realm of trashing hotel rooms and gambling away hundreds of thousands of dollars while chugging Jack Daniels by the handle and autographing fat girls tits with your shirt off.

No matter, Daly is pretty much what you look for in entertainment. The guy does what most golfers only dream of - smokes the ball miles, hits driver on every hole and thinks that not playing practice rounds (the most monotonous part of professional golf) is the best approach to a major championship. He makes you laugh, shrug your shoulders and hope for the best.

No matter if you hate him for wasting away his glory years or love him for his real life Roy McAvoy-ness, he's an absolute hoot.

63, WEE HEE!!!!

I didn't watch a second of the round today (had my own round to bogey away), but the highlights pretty much say it all - Tiger Woods makes this game look like Hungry, Hungry Hippo.

El Tigre impressed everyone, shooting a 7-under 63 that included a bogey and an intense lip-out on the final hole for the all-time scoring record at a major. My uncle made the best point about the near 62 - if that putt would have dropped we would have never been subjected to any Johnny Miller 63 talk ever again.

I guess instituting a "Tiger just being Tiger" phrase to the golf world would be the most definitive of the past two weeks, with Woods carding a 63 in the final round of the Bridgestone and now at Southern Hills, a place Tiger had only broke 69 once in eight competitive rounds.

This round was reminiscent of Tiger's third round at Oakmont this year, except the putts went in today and the score reflected his dominance over the current golf world.

Beware field - the guy looks pretty 2001 to me.

Credit Maxx Wolfson - Sexy Beast and Getty Images Maestro

The Storm Has Passed, Tiger Still Dorky

Just in case you were worried that Graham Storm was going to run away with this PGA Championship, no worries. The Englishman shot 6-over 76 today, making only five pars the entire day on a scorecard that looks like an abstract painting. Storm made just one less birdie than he did on his bogey-free round yesterday, but made eight bogeys and a double.

Also, El Tigre decided to be as Stanford as possible, wearing a zip-up polo shirt for his round today. I know that those things were really cool for about a month in the late 90s, but not so much anymore. I think of zip-up polos with people like Charles Howell III and Paul Casey but not Tiger. I wonder if this will effect his Who's Now? status.

For the golf tournament, Stephen "Molsons Tastes Great!" Ames and Scott Verplank are tied for the lead at 4-under. Behind them is your favorite and my hero, Johnathon Daly, who has yet to tee of and decided to start his morning by taking a bath in Diet Coke while mouth-washing with Diet Coke. His round should be interesting if Carnoustie was any indication of how he does at the top of the leader board these days (HAIRBALL!).

Daly Reminder that Daly Isn't Dead (or Stabbed)

Anytime John Daly is in the news for anything related to good golf, it is a good time.

Big John shot a 3-under 67, taking the clubhouse lead in the PGA Championship and striking up clubhouse chatter that Daly is definitely using steroids. Also, I just heard Daly say that he copes with the heat by "drinking diet cokes, smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes" - you have to love this guy.

Maybe the bigger story of the day is the regurgitation of Tiger Woods, going from 3-under to 1-over in a matter of ten holes. Woods made four bogeys on his inward nine holes, making my previous post look like absolute boohockey.

Some character named Graham Storm (the real spelling of his first name is Graeme but I refuse to call him that) is leading at 4-under but has nine more holes to play, so I say he finishes with a 69.

One thing to remember - if it's hot outside, make sure to pack a ton of Diet Coke.

Over Before It Started?

It appears that Tiger Woods is going to try and shut he door on this thing before anyone has a chance to enjoy it.

Woods has hit every fairway and green thus far and is 3-under for the tournament, one shot behind some guy named Markus Brier who I'm sure worries Woods to his inner core.

I know how he is playing only because I'm checking live scoring online, not because TNT would take the insanely drastic measure of showing El Tigre's round live. No, I'm sure re-runs of "Charmed" land a ton more viewers than Tiger Woods playing (well, nonetheless) in a major championship.

Some other interesting notables - Sergio Garcia is 2-under, along with John Daly (GIZZARD!), Colin Montgomerie and Lee Westwood. Retief Goosen is 1-under and Ernie Els is even par. Check back throughout the day with some rather poor insight into the wonderful world of Southern Hills.

Get Excited for Oklahoma!

Since someone told me it's Wednesday (I haven't known the day of the week since college graduation two years ago), I'm assuming that the PGA Championship starts tomorrow.

If you haven't check it out, click on my preview over at Deadspin and if that doesn't tickle your fancy, hit up Sons of Sam Malone for a better preview and probably better diction.

At last Southern Hills is here, so expect to see a lot of sweat stains and reports of obese spectators passing out as they walk from the 7th green to the 8th tee. ENJOY!

Heat - It's HOT!

The forecast for the PGA Championship has been revealed and it looks like it will be sizzling at Southern Hills (104 MY GOODNESS!).

People are making a big deal about this which is hard for me to understand (do some of the golfers have to wear parkas?), but at least it gives some of these athletes a chance to sweat both physically and mentally.

Strangely, I have a feeling this is going to benefit Tiger (no idea why).

Reviewing Southern Hills - 2007 PGA Championship Week

The last major of the year begins this week, with your last chance to watch Phil Mickelson struggle on the links (only for two days!) and the last chance for Tiger Woods to notch a major.

With the majors being favorable to both first time winners and cigarette smokers this year, it will be interesting to see if a veteran can up his major total (that being Tiger) or if someone random hacker will again take home the Wanamaker Trophy. With the PGA Championship being the kindest of majors to first time winners (think Shaun Micheel and Richard Beem), it would make the most sense if someone like Ben Curtis notched his first major victory (Wait a minute...he's won one before? When? THE BRITISH OPEN!?! That has to be a typo).

It seems fair to say Tiger will most likely win, especially after he dry humped the field at Firestone. Woods struggled in the first round of the '01 Open, but bounced back from that 74 to finished 12th, seven shots behind the Goose.

(Random thought - Why did it take so long for Grey Goose to sponsor Retief? First, he's a clean cut, classy looking fellow. Second, he plays golf, the only true "sport" where most people drink alcohol before, during and after the round. Third, HIS LAST NAME IS GOOSEN! I mean, I'm not a Marketing major or anything, but wouldn't this be a fairly obvious move? It would be like Phil Knight decided to name his company "LeBron James-y" in 1972 instead of Nike and then passing him off to Reebok when he came into the league).

If I were to pick an early first-time winner, I would have to go with Andres Romero from Argentina. After finishing third at the British Open (the confidence builder), he won next week at Deutsche Bank Players' Championship of Europe and then finished sixth this past week at the Bridestone.

He's young, hits the ball forever and would make for an amazingly hilarious Gland Slam of Golf if two of the four golfers were speaking Spanish the entire time as Johnny Miller tries to translate.

Art.

I think my love for Tiger will never surpass the man-crush status (Even if he is NOW!), but watching him draw up Firestone right now is absolutely spectacular.

He made four birdies in his first six holes, and is nearing the end of his round without a bogey. With an eight shot lead, I think you can go ahead and card his fourth victory of the year.

I know everyone sees his dominance, but it is so hard to actually understand it. The man always is in the hunt, and wins just when you start to forget about his last victory.

I really hope that El Tigre wins at Southern Hills so that people don't complain about him finishing 2007 without a major title, because that would be selling even the best a little short.

Jump on the bandwagon and he always impresses, start to doubt him and he makes you look like a fool. Play on Mr. Woods - anyone that straps on his weekly spikes applauds your brilliance.

(Oh, and Rory Sabbatini is five-over through 16 holes, in case you were interested in that sort of thing)

The Swoosh vs. Some Guy Paid by the Swoosh

If Rory "Belt buckles are my calling" Sabbatini has ever had a chance to back up his ever-running mouth, this would be it.

The South African Wildcat (UA!) is sleeping on the lead at the Bridgestone Invitational over an always lurking Tiger Woods, who will play with Sabbatini and is only one shot back.

Woods has a couple of things going for him, none more than the fact that he owns Firestone Country Club like David Letterman owns one-liners, winning at the venue five times.

I see this as one of those made-for-Tiger moments, the time when everyone gives Sabbatini the edge for some crazy unknown reason and Woods just treats him like a Sam Alexis diaper.

Personally, I hope El Tiger dismantles the kid, proving once again that he is at his best when people aren't quite convinced of his ability.

DTCC POLL! Who is YOUR Player of the Year?

DTCC's Take on Gary Player

The announcement last week by Gary Player that steroids have found their way into the country clubs of our world shocked a lot of people and irritated a lot of professional golfers.

Some of the pros focusing on Carnoustie said they thought the comments were intrusive and unnecessary so close to a big event like the British Open.

The bottom line is that anyone that things steroids hasn't made its way on the golf course obviously doesn't understand the enticing nature of a pill that makes you automatically bulk up for less. Personally, I think steroids are too much - something that gives you an edge but takes away your dignity, honor and trust. If you decide to "cheat" with your workout, you are selling short the Tiger Woods and Carmillo Villegas' of the the golf world.

Golf, as s whole, is a polished sport, eclipsing anything else by a large margin. With the NFL dealing with players shooting up nightclubs and hosting dog fighting in their back yard, the NBA faced with a referee that fixes games and the MLB having to worry about this whole Barry Bonds situation, Gary Player's comments put the PGA Tour on the map.

In a way, it was explaining to the world that we aren't as clean as you think. Guys do shoot up for an advantage, and that isn't fair to the clean ones. Length in golf is the one advantage in golf that can't be changed. If I hit the ball further than you, I'm automatically at an advantage in numerous ways. To think that people really believe that steroids weren't going to eventually make its stamp on the PGA Tour obviously don't know much about the sport. Too much money is out there for guys not to look for the smallest aid on the big tours.

It's here, and the eventual positive tests will make Player look like Nostradamus, not the kid who cried wolf.

Wrapping up the British Open

It has been a full day since the British Open officially ended and we all saw Padraig Harrington choke it up his skirt on 18 yet still win take home the Claret Jug.

Harrington played himself into perfect position in both regulation and in the playoff where he had some breathing room on 18 to make a five (or six). The hungover Irishman played the first 17 holes of Sunday six-under before making double on 18, pretty much letting Sergio back into the tournament.

Everyone continues to talk about the choke job by Garcia, but I disagree. El Nino's putt on 18 in regulation was hit exactly where he wanted it, similar to Mickelson's putt in 2003 at Augusta to win his first green jacket. The putt needed to slide a smidgen right to go in and didn't. It stayed out of the hole, rolled the lip and the rest was history.

Maybe the only bad part of the entire tournament besides Tiger Woods' tee shot on the first hole to start day two was the infant approach to a post-round interview put on by Mr. Garcia. Sergio blamed the Carnoustie grounds crew, the flag stick on 16 and, ironically, his continued string of bad luck.

Personally, I try not to rile up the golf gods, unlike Mr. Garcia. Sergio did just that, with his best Roberto Alomar impersonation at Doral a few years ago. Maybe that has something to do with it, maybe not, but the worst thing in the world is a sore loser. (Ok, maybe other stuff is a lot worse, but sore losers really do suck.)

Nonetheless, Carnoustie again brought the drama and number 18 didn't disappoint. If anything, this was just as good if not better than 1999, with both Garcia and Harrington playing the 18th a combined four-over par in both regulation and the playoff.

If you combine the historic golf courses, the imagination that it takes to play links golf and the possibility of multiple female streakers, the British Open has to be the best golf tournament in the world. Personally, I can't wait until Royal Birkdale next year. Mark O'Meara won the thing nine years ago, and everyone knows which current golfer he'll share his secrets with.


Andrew Redington/Getty Images

Padraig Har-ball

FORE RIGHT!

18 never seems to disappoint, eh? Padraig just hit it right, into the burn, now facing some sort of shot with a kitchen knife while Sergio is looking at a birdie putt on 17.

I would have to say it might not be choking as much as it is the golf course just being what it is.

OH NO, Harrington just smacked it back in the burn. He might make a Van De Velde before this whole thing is over.

Somewhere, a middle-aged man is drinking a Kronenberg, smiling like he just won the lottery.

Alastair Grant/AP

Forget What I Just Said

Um, everything I just typed, disregard it.

For some reason, when you get past hole 16 at Carnoustie you lose all common sense and your caddy gets some form of cotton mouth.

Romero just tried to hit a 2-iron out of the trash and hit it out-of-bounds just right of Glasgow.

Lord have mercy, Paraig just made eagle. This might be the most excited I've been at 9:12 in the morning ever.

Maybe the Argentina Open Should Be A Major?

This is one of those moments, similar to Ben Curtis in 2003, where you wish you had that "Back to the Future" sports betting book.

Argentine Andres Romero is doing his best video game impression, making nine birdies in 15 holes of the final round, including five of the six holes he's played on the back nine. If not for a blocked iron shot into a GORSEEEE bush on 12, he'd be running away with this damn thing.

Ummm, he just made another birdie, on 16, the 400-yard par-3. That is now ten birdies in 16 holes at Carnoustie, which is pretty much like hooking up with Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz and Carrie Underwood all in the same night.

If Romero can hold onto this crazy tournament, he will be the second straight Argentine to win a major, plus I will have to figure out how to spell his name without have to continually fact check it.

Sergio Garcia is doing his best Sergio Garcia impression, plodding along at two-over for the day, two shots back in a tie with Padraig Harrington.

Looks like 18 will again be the deciding factor, even though it's playing downwind and seems to be the easiest hole I've ever seen playable today.

Photo courtesy of Alastair Grant/AP

Hiccup, Hiccup

Man oh man oh man oh man.

In case you're a little confused, I have never actually played in a major golf championship, but I can tell you from the television feed that the pressure has to be off the Richter Scale.

As I tried to stay awake during the early points of this round, Sergio Garcia looked to be comfortable as Steve Stricker was missing makeable birdie putts by the hundreds.

Now, it is Garcia at plus-two for the day, just one shot ahead of Stricker and having a ton of Carnoustie left with Richard Green already posting five-under for the tournament.

Green bogeyed the 18th hole to shoot 64 on Sunday, while Hunter Mahan shot a 65.

Low scores are out there, it just doesn't seem that a ton of the afternoon group is going really red. If Ernie Els can continue to par along, he might just find himself with another Claret Jug.

Poor, poor Tiger. The leaders are doing just what he needed, yet he just can't get anything going. For the first time this week, Carnoustie is showing it's teeth, making this a very watchable next three hours.

Stayed tuned, and let me know in comments who you think is going to take home the trophy.

Photo courtesy of Andrew Redington/Getty Images

"BE GOOD!"

I have to say, of all the British Open rounds I’ve watched, this has to be one of the most impressive in conjunction with the moment.

Sergio Garcia’s bogey-free round of three-under 68 moved him from lovable El Nino to Possible Major Champion. Like Steve Stricker said, it is only day three, but to go around that golf course with that pressure, you have to take your red and orange Adidas hat off to the Spaniard for a job well done.

If Carnoustie continues to get rain throughout the evening, it will be interesting to see Sergio’s approach tomorrow without the ability to hit that hooded-iron shot he used most of the back nine (STINGER!). No matter the approach, Garcia did more than what he needed to on Saturday, showing poise and ability without an ounce of frustration.

With all that said, tomorrow is a completely different experience, with Sergio in a place he has struggled in years past. We’ve seen El Nino in the final round of a major, and we’ve seen him metaphorically piss it down the ol’ leg. If there is one thing that he can hang his hat on, it’s that tomorrow he will be playing with journeyman Steve Stricker, unlike Tiger and his army at Bethpage in 2002.

Also, and I don’t know if anyone is talking about this, but that cameraman that Garcia hit with his approach shot on 17 looks a lot like the guy that videotaped Sergio spitting in the cup at Doral. Now that is accuracy.

Photo courtesy of Bob Martin/SI

Is This The Same Carnoustie?

I have to admit – I’d much rather see the winner of a major finish somewhere between eight and 12 under par than one of those USGA “Who can make the most par” tournaments.

With that said, however, this Carnoustie just isn’t really the same. Everyone was talking about Car-nasty (my least favorite nickname in the history of golf) before the week began, but it’s Saturday and 28 people are under par at the moment. If that isn’t enough, Steve Stricker just posted 64, the competitive course record at Carnoustie.

So far Sergio is cruising along, making two birdies through eight holes, but still has the back nine of the golf course with the possibility of someone posting six or seven under nearly two hours before he finishes.

Tiger Woods finished with a two-under 69, probably not what he wanted given the weather conditions. Ernie Els would be having a wonderful afternoon if not for his Yogi Berra eight on number six.

Tiger might have said it best during his post round interview, criticizing the false weather forecasts we continue to get at Carnoustie. I’ve heard torrential rains, heavy winds, tornados and the possibility of a typhoon in the area and all they’ve had is perfect weather.

Photo courtesy of Jon Super/AP

Moving Day Defined

It’s moving day at the British, and as I can see, the “weather” that was blowing in must have been mild weather.

Chris DiMarco has already posted 66, moving up 26 spots to a tie for fifth and Steve Stricker is six-under on his round through 13 holes.

What I’ve seen of Tiger Woods so far, it looks like an identical round to yesterday sans the snap-hook on the first. El Tigre is two-under on his round through 15 holes, but it looks like with everyone making a move, one-under for the tournament isn’t going to do much for his positioning.

This week would be a perfect example of the expectations we have for Tiger. The guy is the best in the world and is currently in the top-15 of a major yet it’s disappointing.

Having a look at the leaders, Sergio Garcia is one-under for his round and cruising, making birdie on the same hole he hit a cold shank (shhhh) on yesterday.

The only hope Mr. Woods has at this point is that the wind picks up tremendously in about 45 minutes and never let up.

More to come…

Round Two Coming to A Slow Finish

I just watched six hours of British Open coverage and can't really remember one memorable golf shot. I would have to say that the best way to describe round two was it was there. You know, people shot better and made the cut, others shot worse and missed it, and Tiger Woods hit a snap-hook iron shot or he would be right in the mix.

Sergio Garcia played the round he needed to, shooting even par 71 to take a two-shot lead into the weekend. We have seen this before, but if El Nino can stick it out another day or so, it might be pretty interesting come Sunday.

The only thing I see really hurting Mr. Garcia is the fact that bad weather is on the horizon at Carnoustie. Everyone knows that Garcia can be rattled (remember all the waggles at Bethpage), and a few bad shots caused by weather could really knock him off his mental game.

The lasting shot of the second round might be Woods hitting range balls directly after his round. The big pull was the favored shot on the front, the block right was his miss on the back. Hopefully he can get it together so that waking up early will be worth brewing the Saturday morning coffee.

Credit: John Biever/SI

Tiger Tries To Tame The Tugs

I guess when you are used to Tiger Woods hitting all the shots he needs to hit, it is a little surreal to see the Greatest hitting it all over the place in mild conditions at the British Open.

After his double-bogey on the first, Tiger smoked a five-iron to four feet on two, notching a birdie in typical Tiger fashion. This was the point when every viewer that has ever watched Mr. Woods expected him to make a few more birdies coming in, posting something like three or four under and probably landing in the final group with Sergio Garcia.

Well, the yanks continue, with a bogey on the fifth, a dissapointing par on six and is now in the bunker after a tug with his seven-iron on eight. Of course, El Tigre will always keep it together better than most on tour, and playing the last six holes even par is pretty impressive after that initial tee shot.

Phil Knight will continue to smile throughout the day as Nike Team Members KJ Choi and Stewart Cink are both in a tie for second. Never underestimate the power of the Swoosh.

Update: Tiger just bogeyed the eighth hole from the greenside bunker. He is 1-over for the tournament.

Image courtesy of Getty Images

What Will Phil Do Next? (Probably board his plane)

I hate to toot my own horn (actually, i love it, can't get enough of it, bask in the power of positive projections), but it looks like it is time to say GOOOOODBYE to a few golfers, including Mr. Mickelson.

Schmicky shot a six-over 77 today, that included a double-bogey on his last hole, the 18th. With the cut projected at plus-four, par probably was the score Lefty was shooting for.

Also in search of an early United Airlines flight out of Edinburgh, David Toms (+6), Charles Howell III (+7), John Daly (+8) and Aaron Baddeley (+9). See, if these guys had planned a little better, they could have all flown together over to Scotland to help save fuel and make this world a little greener.

Photo courtesy of Andy Lyons/Getty Images

Interesting First Five Minutes of Round Two

Well, I just opened my wee little eyes, turned on the British Open and see Sergio Garcia hole a ten-footer for par on 18 to shoot even par in his second round.

At the exact same time, on the first hole, Tiger Woods just hit one of the most inexplicable golf shots I can remember the champion swinging. Woods pulled his two-iron on the first hole into what looked like a burn that is out of bounds.

I remember the first hole at Carnoustie, and that burn wasn’t even really in play. I mean, hitting an iron out of bounds on that hole left would be like pulling a nine-iron into the ocean on 18 at Pebble.

If Tiger can make par on his second ball, he’ll be at even for the tournament, six shots back of our leader, Mr. Garcia.

Photo courtesy of Bob Martin/SI

Never Trust a Thief (or Sergio in the Lead at a Major)

When Sergio Garcia comes to mind, I think three things:

1. He was a cute story at one point in his life (sadly, that was 1999, nearly eight years ago at the PGA Championship).
2. He plays DAMN well when he gets to chum up with a bunch of other Europeans, but when playing individual tournaments, he breaks the occasional club (who hasn’t) and spits in cups after missed putts (eh, maybe not so much).
3. He folds like a USPS intern in the majors (not counting ’99 when he was just outplayed).

That is all I can really think about when I see the Spaniard onto of a leader board after round one. When Phil Mickelson was in search of his first victory, he was always trying to find the right week with the right swing. Putting was never Mickelson’s Achilles, unlike Mr. Garcia. I know he has a new toy, but like any golfer knows, a new club needs a little tournament testing, and Sergio’s putter has yet to see the light of a weekend tournament.

I’d love to see the romantic story of Sergio pulling through at the biggest European tournament in their country, but I just don’t see it happening. Maybe he can prove me wrong, but I wouldn’t put my money on Ladbrokes on it.

Photo courtesy of Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images

"Hey Mom, I Beat TIGER WOODS!"

So far, the best story of day one belongs to 18-year-old amateur Rory McIlory, who finished with a three-under 68 and stands at a tie for third.

McIlory is the only player in the field without a bogey on his card, and will be able to tell his buddies that he beat Tiger Woods in the first round of a major (that would definitely make the front page of my MySpace profile).

Along with McIlroy (try typing that name five times fast), Sergio Garcia decided to finally switch putters and it's paying off as he has taken a two shot lead with just two holes to play.

U.S. Open champion Angel Cabrera found smoking cigarettes actually helps you stay warm in the cold Scottish weather, shooting a 68 and finding himself close to the lead in a second straight major. Also, KJ Choi just won’t play a bad round, shooting 69 and finding himself right in the mix.

Ben Bunny struggled today, shooting an 81.

The Symmetrical Round of Daly and Life

If there has ever been more symmetry between a golf round and someone’s actual life travails it has to be John Daly’s first round at Carnoustie.

Mr. Daly ended with a three-over 74, a respectable score on a British Open course that equaled the likes of todays stars* like Chris Dimarco and Stuart Appleby.

What most of those guys didn’t do, however, was take the lead in the British Open with only seven holes to go. Daly was five-under after 11 before finishing with a three bogeys a double and a triple. The Arkansas hero went from first to a tie for 94th in a matter of minutes.

If you think about the round in relation to Daly’s golf career, it all makes sense. The man comes on the scene in 1991, winning the PGA Championship as the ninth and final alternate and followed that up with a British Open championship in 1995 at St. Andrews.

Since then, Daly has battled divorce, golfing troubles and steak knifes. The man come to us in the early 90s as the five-under par stud leading the British Open and has since dropped shot after shot, occasionally lifting our hopes of a return (the victory at the 2004 Buick Invitational), but letting the wind out of sails as quick as it had whipped up.

With Daly, you truly get a real life golf round, never really knowing what to expect until the final hole is complete.

A Crazy Golfer Sighting

Just in case you were wondering, John Daly is alive and scratch-free.

The Big Lug was actually atop the leader board for all of one hole after holing out for eagle on 11 to move to five-under for the championship. In Daly fashion, however, he doubled number 12, missing a putt that Shotlink told us was 0 ft. 7 inches.

No matter what he finishes, anytime you get to watch Daly hit the golf ball is a better day than the one before.

Thursday Mornings Made Better

Good morning America, Welcome to links golf at its pinnacle.

As I am still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, Guinness lover Paul McGinley is in the lead at four-under par. Not to sound like a prophet, but McGinley played the first 14 holes six-under and has bogeyed both 15 and 16.

Maybe the biggest story so far is the weather. No, not high winds or major gusts, it is more the cold weather, with temperatures dipping in the low 50s this morning and everyone snuggled in sweaters and rain gear.

Some notable players that have already posted their rounds include U.S. Open champion Michael Campbell, who finished with a three-under 68. Tiger Woods has also finished his round and is comfortably in at two-under, currently in a tie for fifth with the likes of Ryan Moore and John Daly? Is that right?

Some of the golfers heading the other way include David Love III (surprise, surprise) who opened with 79 and Geoff Ogilvy who opened with 75. So far, six rounds in the 80s have been recorded.

Continued updates will follow throughout the day.

Photo courtesy of Stuart Franklin/Getty Images

Only a Few Wee Hours Away

Before the British Open officially kicks off in the wee hours tomorrow, I think it is perfect time to discuss the winners and losers of British Open week before the thing has even started.

Winners

Tiger Woods - The greatest thing for golf since the Balata is always a winner when he tees it up, especially in a country that only sees his handsome grill once a year. The guy has three victories this year, a new hobby (changing diapers) and seems to be in better form this week than heading into Hoylake last year.

Carnoustie - No matter if we get nasty weather or perfect conditions, Carnoustie is to the British Open rotation as chain-link wallets were to the skateboard generation. It has been so long since we’ve visited the Scottish Brute that we should see a lot of different names with many of the same results.

Lucas Glover - Nothing ticks me off more than professional golfers complaining that traveling to Scotland is “too far.” Glover didn’t even have a spot in the tournament but jumped on a plane anyway, landing an alternate spot after Shingo “John Wayne” Katayama withdrew. Hopefully the karma will pay off Mr. Glover.

Jean Van De Velde - Even though his name still brings shutters to my spine, the Frenchy will pretty much define the “no press is bad press” moniker this week.

American golfers without jobs - If you fit into that category, the British Open is the perfect tournament for you. Roll out of bed, turn on the tub without having to brush your teeth, enjoy live coverage and when it wraps up, you can still go play 18 holes. Ahh, unemployment.

Losers

Woody Austin - The guy is having his career year and then goes ahead and decides not to make the trip across the pond because he isn’t accustomed to links golf. I guess Mr. Austin’s kids just sat right on the seat of a bicycle and were ready for the Tour de France without any instruction or advice.

Phil Mickelson - Lets just say that this might be premature, but I don’t see anything positive happening this week for Schmicky. Maybe he’ll prove me completely wrong, but I’ll just call this a hunch.

Europeans - If one of the Euros don’t break through this week, it will be 15 years with only one victor, Paul Lawrie. The only positive – that came at Carnoustie.

I hope tomorrow morning you’ll be waking up to a nice fresh cup of tea and a yummy tart of some sort before plopping in front of the television as you enjoy one of your sick days. If you want, check out Sons of Sam Malone for more of a nuts and bolts approach to the first day at Carnoustie.

Photo courtesy of Matt Dunham/AP

Want Something to Read, Head to Deadspin

If you get a chance today, head over to Deadspin and check out my British Open preview. It is short and concise, but tells all I can about the power of Carnoustie.

Also, the above pictures was taken of the clubhouse as I was making my triple-bogey on the 36th hole of the day. FUN TIMES!

Carnoustie, here we come....

...And awayyyyy, we go.

It is Monday of British Open week, arguably the most prestigious of all four major championships.

According to golfweek.com, the winds were swirling so bad today at Carnoustie Golf Links that Tiger Woods hit a 4-iron approach into a green from 112 yards and came up short. Umm, welcome to the East Coast of Scotland?

Throughout the week I’ll have different updates because unlike any other tournament the big boys play, I’ve actually teed it up at Carnoustie and experience a little of what these guys will go through.

I can’t promise that my “coverage” will be anything close to as good as that David Beckham commercial on ESPN (maybe the best of the year?), but I will try my best to tell you interesting things about Carnoustie without using these words – Jean, Van, De or Velde. Ok, so I’ll say one thing – I played the first 14 holes at Carnoustie at even par, before finishing like one-legged horse at the Preakness. What’d I make on 18? The same as the infamous Frenchman - Yummy!

"Dernit, Another Freaking Bogey"

I will never root for an individual to fail (unless that individuals name starts with Vijay or ends with Singh), but you have to find a little humor in Phil Mickelson and his latest projectile vomiting.

Mickelson, riding on cruise control at the Scottish Open, made bogey on the 18th hole after a bad tee ball to get in a playoff with Gregory “Why Don’t you Just Gift Wrap the Trophy?” Havret.

In the first playoff hole, Schmickelson bogeyed the 18th again leading to a lot of French guys celebrating in awkward fashion.

Maybe the bigger story should be Havret taking home the victory and playing himself into Carnoustie and his first British Open, but it is hard to overlook the continued struggles of Phil.

The guy continues to David Copperfield the golf world, making us look at something brilliant while all these other things are going on in the background. At the Players Championship, we all thought Philly had once again found his form, and people were jumping back on the Lefty Bandwagon like it had free iphones in it.

Now we get another glimpse of what Mickelson brings to the table – tons of talent, a lot of bravado but not much ability to close (at least as of late).

The craziest thing – Mickelson has never won a European event, notching only one victory abroad that dates back to 1993.

To put that in perspective, Tiger Woods has accumulated nine victories worldwide in four less years as a professional.

Ladies and gentlemen, you must be this tall to ride this ride.

Learning to Play in Wind 101

It isn't everyday that the words Phil Mickelson and Scottish Open Leader can be found in the same sentence.

Lefty posted a three-under 68 in what were described as "windy conditions" to take a one-shot lead over Frenchy Gregory Havret. Like I've said, Mickelson has never been known for his low-ball ability, and with the recent wrist injury makes his contention all the more weird spectacular.

Nonetheless, this is probably just what Mickelson needs to get himself ready for Carnoustie next week, a place he missed the cut in 1999.

On United States soil, Nathan "Cue Ball" Green has found tons of red, holding the lead at 15-under par at the John Deere Green Classic. Just in case you were wondering, Tiger Woods decided to skip the John Deere Classic, shocking the golf world to the very core.

Number Crunching

With the British Open just around the corner, here are a few numbers that put the first half of the PGA Tour season in perspective.

67 – Number of days since Tiger Woods has hoisted a trophy, when he topped the field at the Wachovia Championship.

2 – Number of months since one of the big four (Woods, Phil Mickelson, Vijay Singh or Jim Furyk) have won an event, when Lefty took home the Players Championship.

8 – Number of PGA Tour events that have passed without someone from the top-10 in the world taking home the big check.

10 – Events Tiger has played in this year, least of anyone in the top 22 of the Fedex Cup standings yet he is still in the lead.

19 – Amount of tournaments Vijay has played in, currently in second place behind Tiger in Fedex Cup points.

0 – rounds Tiger of Phil shot under par at Carnoustie in 1999.

I Guess This Means Mickelson is Back?

For anyone that loves the rich, too-happy-to-be-married type, today must be a wonderful day for you. The wrist-injured Phil Mickelson has decided to start playing again, shooting a six-under 65 in the first round of the Barclays Scottish Open.

Since Mickelson injured his wrist in a practice round at Oakmont, the Lefty Sensation has been nonexistent, missing the cut at the U.S. Open and Tigers Tourney. Also, Mickelson tried his best to compare the Oakmont rough to, say, an Ireland-France rugby game.

Nonetheless, it isn’t surprising to see Phil the Thrill succeeding at Loch Lomond, one of the least links courses in Scotland. Looking at Phil’s golf repertoire, the British Open would seem to be the hardest for the big-swinger to pull off.

On American soil, Neal Lancaster shot a seven-under 65 to take the first round lead at the John Deere Green Classic, on a hot summer night. Neal has had a touch of a drought since his last victory on the PGA Tour, the 1994 GTE Byron Nelson.

Tiger Tiger Tiger Tiger

You gotta love Tiger’s Tourney. I mean, Mr. Stuart Appleby has played the thing like a U.S. Open, making more pars than bogeys, with the occasional birdie coming at the most opportune time.

Plus, the First Annual Sam Woods Invitational has included some international flair (Appleby, K.J. Choi), the ex- Masters Champion (Mike Weir), and the happy-go-lucky face (Shigeki Maruyama). The best part, Mr. Woods has yet to crap his pants, still just seven shots heading to Sunday, a reasonable margin considering the tiger monitoring the gazelle.

I would find it definitive of the host if something crazy happened tomorrow a la Pebble Beach in 2000. I mean, a hole out here, a long birdie putt there, the occasional fist pump mixed with a dramatic eagle on some random par-5. Wouldn’t that be great?

Well, that is what El Tigre has brought to this game. Expectation. I hope tomorrow can fill the quota.

Can I Trade My Prius for a Buick?

Oh, how youngsters grow.

Hunter Mahan notched his first career PGA Tour victory on the Big Boys Tour while Dobson Ranch native Chez Reavie broke through on the Nationwide.

The good news – Mahan went from solid college player making checks on the PGA Tour to President Cup hopeful and Reavie has all but locked up his PGA Tour card, going from 19th to fifth on the money list.

Now onto the Buick Open, an event where the main attraction is a guy that wears huge black button-up shirts and appeals to as many women as Horatio Sanz.

A few storylines going in this week :

Furyk’s Freaky Side - Never underestimate the power of a Wildcat. Jimmy hasn’t won this year, but has notched seven top-10s at Warwick Hills. Being the headliner, will Mr. Furyk pull through after a second at the U.S. Open?

Charles (Was) In Charge - Remember when Charles Howell III was cashing checks like a Chase in Times Square? Well, Like A-Rod, Howell has cooled, even shooting a third round 80 at the Memorial before withdrawing. The kid wonder has been cut three of his last six events and has finished over par in eight of his last nine tourneys. Howell plays on confidence and needs a good finish to get it back.

DiMarco Di-Done - Remember when Chris DiMarco should have won the 2005 Masters over Tiger Woods? That chip was oh-so-close to dropping on 18. Well, the fluctuating Florida Gator has only three top-25s this year, and is ranked 100 or more in every stat except putting. I hope he doesn’t read this and start yelling at me through the computer.

There ya go – enjoy the Buick or just continue to think about the British…it shall be here soon enough.

Yawn, 62, When is Carnoustie?

Day one at the Travelers Championship is complete, and Hunter “I Just Woke Up For My Profile Picture” Mahan smoked the steroid-ridden field.

Yep, Mahan’s eight-under 62 was the best of the day, two shots ahead of everyone’s least favorite golfer, Chris DiMarco (I will never forgive you Chris…you will forever be on my shit list).

Probably the best surprise of the day was Carl Pettersson’s 5-under 65, seeing as though I just called him out as the would-be Mickelson of the group. Again, looking at guys like Pettersson makes the whole steroid investigation look like a one-man hunt. I really can’t wait until he gets called in for the test – if I were the doctor, I’d have to laugh.

Mr. Happy, Vijah Singh, shot a two-under 68 and is in a tie for 28th place, with the only other notable, Zach Johnson carding a one-over 71.

"Club Down Because You're on Steroids"

It’s a wonderful Thursday morning with the Travelers Championship underway, which can only mean one thing – steroids?

Huh? Steroids in golf?

From the Associated Press, “The PGA Tour is getting closer to a rule on performance-enhancing drugs, and with testing likely to follow, commissioner Tim Finchem says golf organizations around the world should make sure they’re on the same page.”

I find it convenient that this came the week after Tiger Woods did his best SI Swimsuit model impersonation with the painted-on red golf shirt.

Anyway, this announcement could affect dozens of people worldwide, and my first investigation would have to focus on Peter “Popeye” Lonard (forearms a hoy!).

Travelers Championship FEVER

I hope I’m not the only one that finds it ironic that this week’s tournament is coined the Travelers Championship, and everyone worth watching will be, well, traveling somewhere else.

Actually, it looks like Phil Mickelson will be in the field…uhh, never mind, that’s just Carl Pettersson.

Anyway, this weeks PGA Tour tourney includes the likes of Vijay Singh, Zach Johnson and Kyle Reifers. I am starting to think Vijay has no home and just takes two hour naps between hitting range balls.

The best thing about weeks like this is someone random has a chance to cash in on their first PGA victory, and with that, grab a trip to the Mercedes Championship and a nice little two-year exemption.

If I had to put money on a long shot, I’d go with Ryan Moore. The kid is destined to win sometime this season and he best do it now when Tiger is still infatuated with Sam. Wait till the little princess starts pooping nine times a day Tiger – then you’re going to be using that “have to go hit some range balls, it’s my job” excuse way more than you had hoped.

Michelle Wie, Check the Rearview

Good news, if you’re into birthing news. Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, just announced on tigerwoods.com that Sam Alexis Woods was born to this beautiful, billionaire world.

Some thought that the little girl would be entering this world around British Open time, but it appeared that Oakmont creates headaches and induces labor. Honestly, I think it had something to do with Angel Cabrera that made Elin’s water break.

Anyway, congrats El Tigre on being a poppa and good luck with all the added responsibilities that is quick to come. The one thing that Tiger can lean on if everything gets a little heavy – Elin has a twin!

Slump Talk

This is my favorite time of year. The sun is shinning high, the pools are packed with bikinis and sportscasters have nothing better to do than start talking about Tiger’s “slump.”

It really makes sense if you think about it. He’s only won three of the nine tournaments he has entered, finishing second in two others (both majors), and in the top-15 in two others. What does that mean? S-L-U-M-P! In related news, Vince Chase only got to third base this afternoon with a Playboy model – somebody get G.L.A.D. on the phone!

I blame all of this on Rory Sabbatini. If he hadn’t started the whole “more beatable than ever” nonsense then nobody in the media would have come up with this notion on their own.

Tiger has had one year when he “slumped” and that was in 1998, when he was revamping his swing so that he could knock out the Tiger Slam two years later. Winning a third of the events you enter and finishing second in two others isn’t slumping. If that still doesn't do it for you, think about it like this - since 2001 Tiger has yet to win more than three events through the U.S. Open. Actually, three events is pretty much par for Tiger, doing the same in '02, '03, '05 and now '07.

I just thought this needed to be clarified. If over the next few days people are bringing this up around the water cooler, either walk away or punch the person in the face. The choice is up to you.

How People "Relate" With Angel Cabrera

I hope I'm not the only one that finds it absolutely, eh, AMERICAN that ESPN and it's daily television shows find it imperative to focus on the fact that Angel Cabrera smokes. I mean, isn't it a little sad that the mass media must find a comfortable medium with a foreign champion so it focuses on one of his bad habits instead of the fact that HE JUST WON THE GODDAMN U.S. OPEN OVER TIGER WOODS?!?!

Again, Cabrera was the only player in top 20 and one of only two golfers on Sunday to break par. Also, Cabrera was the only golfer in the entire tournament to shoot two rounds under 70.

No matter if you’re one of those patriotic sports fans that want an American to take home the national championship or a golfer that loves when El Tigre steps up and takes home the big tournaments, Cabrera proved the theory that follows our current U.S. Open trends. The harder the golf course, the more it opens up the field. If the USGA continues to make these golf courses this difficult, you will see more and more random golfers at the top of these leader boards (i.e., Niclas Fasth, Bubba Watson, and Nick Dougherty in the top 10). That isn’t a horrible thing – we have learned to love the Geoff Ogilvy’s of this world along with the Jason Gores and Watsons. These guys are why the tournament has local and sectional qualifying and, like Roy McAvoy says, is the most democratic golf tournament in the world.

Next month we get to watch the burnt out fairways and deep bunkers of Carnoustie, but right now lets appreciate a solid four days by an unknown character. Seeing Angel cover his mouth after his near hole-out on the 15th hole might have been the best moment of the entire tournament.

Charles McGrath/Getty Images