Only a Few Wee Hours Away

Before the British Open officially kicks off in the wee hours tomorrow, I think it is perfect time to discuss the winners and losers of British Open week before the thing has even started.

Winners

Tiger Woods - The greatest thing for golf since the Balata is always a winner when he tees it up, especially in a country that only sees his handsome grill once a year. The guy has three victories this year, a new hobby (changing diapers) and seems to be in better form this week than heading into Hoylake last year.

Carnoustie - No matter if we get nasty weather or perfect conditions, Carnoustie is to the British Open rotation as chain-link wallets were to the skateboard generation. It has been so long since we’ve visited the Scottish Brute that we should see a lot of different names with many of the same results.

Lucas Glover - Nothing ticks me off more than professional golfers complaining that traveling to Scotland is “too far.” Glover didn’t even have a spot in the tournament but jumped on a plane anyway, landing an alternate spot after Shingo “John Wayne” Katayama withdrew. Hopefully the karma will pay off Mr. Glover.

Jean Van De Velde - Even though his name still brings shutters to my spine, the Frenchy will pretty much define the “no press is bad press” moniker this week.

American golfers without jobs - If you fit into that category, the British Open is the perfect tournament for you. Roll out of bed, turn on the tub without having to brush your teeth, enjoy live coverage and when it wraps up, you can still go play 18 holes. Ahh, unemployment.

Losers

Woody Austin - The guy is having his career year and then goes ahead and decides not to make the trip across the pond because he isn’t accustomed to links golf. I guess Mr. Austin’s kids just sat right on the seat of a bicycle and were ready for the Tour de France without any instruction or advice.

Phil Mickelson - Lets just say that this might be premature, but I don’t see anything positive happening this week for Schmicky. Maybe he’ll prove me completely wrong, but I’ll just call this a hunch.

Europeans - If one of the Euros don’t break through this week, it will be 15 years with only one victor, Paul Lawrie. The only positive – that came at Carnoustie.

I hope tomorrow morning you’ll be waking up to a nice fresh cup of tea and a yummy tart of some sort before plopping in front of the television as you enjoy one of your sick days. If you want, check out Sons of Sam Malone for more of a nuts and bolts approach to the first day at Carnoustie.

Photo courtesy of Matt Dunham/AP