Friday, March 12, 2010

Report: Tiger Woods is Returning, Just Nobody Knows at Which Tournament


My Blackberry experienced a conundrum of sorts on Thursday. At first it was getting e-mails or texts about a possible return for Tiger Woods at Bay Hill, according to sources. This is coming after TMZ was convinced that Woods would be making his return at the Tavistock Cup. Then, the Associated Press' Doug Ferguson came out with a story that Woods will be returning at the Masters.

What did my Blackberry quickly find out? Like everything that has happened in this Woods saga, nobody really knows anything about anything until Tiger finally speaks up about something.

We had heard Elin beat Tiger up with a golf club. That part of the story seemed believable, but the offshoots of the story took a mind of their own. Tiger didn't have any teeth. Elin beat him up with a 9-iron. Tiger was knocked out. On and on and on. That was until Woods got up on his podium and let us know that IN NO WAY has there ever been any domestic violence in the Woods household.

At that point, we all dropped the golf club theory.

What we know at this point is that Tiger will almost certainly be back at the Masters this year, as most of us had expected (well, everyone except Rick Reilly, who thinks the best thing for Woods to do was join the nunnery and never talk to anyone he's ever known previously again). Bay Hill seems like a likely warm-up, but as we've seen the last few months, the words "likely" and "Tiger" sure haven't found themselves together in the same sentence much.

More reports will surface, I'm sure. Later today, we might have our verdict, but as for the TigerWoods.com schedule on the front page, it still says his upcoming tournaments were both in 2009.

My poor Blackberry.

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