David Duval Continues to Play Like David Duval

David Duval is the ultimate Valentines Day candy box (or as Jim Gaffigan poetically calls it, "the mystery candy."). One day you're reaching for a solid piece of chocolate and the next you have the weird thing in your mouth that tastes like toothpaste just got a facial.

Duval, as you know, is 125th on the 2009 money list, meaning that if things ended RIGHT NOW, he'd be the last person to earn a 2010 card and have another year of trying to find that game we used to love.

This week, at the Children's Miracle Network Classic, Duval needs to make some dough, or risk being inevitably leapfrogged by someone behind him that showed up to play. Problem is, he opened with a 76 on Thursday, and is two shots off of dead last in the field, meaning you and I have as good a shot to be landing that precious card as Duval does at this point.

Duval seemed like things might turn around this season, but if you take out that U.S. Open at Bethpage, the guy would have only banked $63,994, or the equivalent of working a weekend shift at a popular Manhattan bar and walking out with four bucks in tips.

The early leaders are already 5-under. Duval will have to fire some Bob Hope-like round if he even wants to sniff the weekend, and will most likely miss his 15th cut of the year.

Duval and John Daly are pretty good examples of how similar golf is with grandparents ... one day you're all together, working the afternoon ranger shift at the Raven Golf Club, and the next, you've completely lost it.