Masters' Pairings (and Lame Commentary)

It is the first major of the year, and I basically would pick the Masters over seeing Megan Fox lick frosting off the stomach of Freida Pinto. Umm, damn, I can't shake that image from my head. Anyway, here are some of my favorite pairings for Thursday. Anyone have any frosting?

8:44 AM -- Raymond Floyd, Justin Leonard, Reinier Saxton (A) -- I think I speak for Justin Leonard when I say, "Hey pairing committee, shove it directly up your green jacket wearing asses." How pissed does Leonard have to be about this?

9:17 AM -- Dustin Johnson, Rory Sabbatini, and Craig Stadler -- I don't think the jackets of Augusta have a sense of humor, but doesn't it seem like these two guys could totally relate to Johnson's recent DUI?

9:28 AM -- Luke Donald, Retief Goosen, and Gary Player -- It's Player's last Masters, so I think the simple question is this -- will Donald and Goosen combine to shoot lower than Player?

10:23 AM -- Ernie Els, Vijay Singh, and Geoff Ogilvy -- If I was at Augusta, I'd follow this group.

10:45 AM -- Jim Furyk, Phil Mickelson and Camilo Villegas -- Nevermind. I'd follow this one.

1:19 PM -- Martin Kaymer, Jose Maria Olazabal, and Brandt Snedeker -- If Snedeker starts crying, who consoles him, the Spaniard of the German? I'm going with Jose's caddie.

1:52 PM -- Stewart Cink, Tiger Woods and Jeev M. Singh -- If Tiger keeps the goatee he was sporting in the practice rounds, it will be a battle between him and Jeev to who has the best facial hair. I'm excited!

Harry How, Getty Images