Justin Timberlake Continues To Make Me Hate My Life

I mean, you can't be great at everything, can you? Three days after performing with like every famous person ever at the Grammys (and probably looking at even better naked females after), Justin Timberlake is at Pebble Beach, the best course west of Augusta National in our country, to play with, whatdoyaknow?, Fred Couples, at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am.

He also has a sponsor deal with Callaway. And is cool. And as much as I want to hate him, I can't. I just hate my own self more. Maybe I need a pick-me-up. Chinese massage parlor, put me down for 3:30 PM!!! Take that, JT!

Marc Feldman/Getty Images

No U.S. Open For Cherry Hills

For most of 2008, I was a Colorado resident. I played golf all over the area, and am here to tell you that the reports of added length with all golf shots are true. At first you might not totally grasp the added length, but catch a driver in the sweet spot and check where that bad boy landed. I promise you'll be happily surprised.

That is why one writer over at Golf.com doesn't think Cherry Hills. host of the 1938, '60 and '78 U.S. Opens just isn't long enough to host our nation's championship, even with the current renovation and added length.

... the 2012 U.S. Amateur will be held at Cherry Hills Country Club in Denver. The latter proclamation was immediately interpreted by some as a sign that the U.S. Open would go to Cherry Hills in the following decade, since in the recent past the USGA has used the Amateur as a dress rehearsal for hosting the Open.

Along those lines, the course is currently being lengthened from 7,160 yards to about 7,500, a change at least partly undertaken with thoughts of luring back the Open ... The USGA also let it be known it doesn't think there's enough space at Cherry Hills for the Open's infrastructure — TV compounds, hospitality tents, etc. — but what no one seems to want to admit is that Cherry Hills will never see the Open again because even with renovations, the course is simply too short.

Strangest thing about all this. I had a conversation yesterday with one of the golf writers at FanHouse about the current reconstructions taking place at Pebble Beach for the upcoming 2010. They are adding length to the famous oceanfront golf course to make it more difficult for today's golfers.

I am not a historian of any sorts when it comes to this game, but I do believe in one thing. If you want to make these Open courses tougher, tighten the hell out of the fairways. Sure, the course has to have some length, but a 430-yard par-4 with a 15 yard wide fairway and devastating rough will bring back the art of the long iron.

Trust me, as someone who isn't shy with the swing speed, medium rough is about as intimidating as a girl with a "Take Me Home" sign hanging around her neck. You need to think. You need to worry.

The USGA needs to go back to its bread and butter. Make the courses more difficult with options, not with length.

The Golf Channel Sucks

I cannot stress this enough when talking about The Golf Channel. I want it to succeed. I wish it would be great. It is television and golf combined. That would be like someone finding a way to fuse Mexican food and sex (but less strange).

The point is, the Golf Channel continues to fail and the broadcasting continues to get outperformed by anyone with a golf booth. The jokes are tired, the remarks are boring and the whole thing is like one big viewing of "The Da Vinci Code" movie. You want it to be awesome, it just isn't.

This news should come as no surprise. One of the broadcaster is in trouble for making some really stupid remark about a spectator's t-shirt.

Magee, serving as a roving reporter during the second-round broadcast, told the network he believed he was off the air when he mentioned to fellow analyst Gary McCord that he had just seen a fan wearing a T-shirt that read, "I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for eating a brownie."

Golf Channel spokesman Dan Higgins said the network received several e-mail complaints from viewers about the remark. The Golf Channel's online message boards have been filled with fan feedback on the matter.

"He was disciplined for that," Higgins said, from Orlando. "It was a mistake. He's fairly new in the role of on-course reporter, which is no excuse, but he has been disciplined, yes.

"It was inappropriate."

For a brownie comment? I'm surprised people that watch The Golf Channel even know about pot brownies.

Whatever. This is the perfect example of why The Golf Channel needs a makeover. They need to get some people in there that have fun talking about golf, and actually enjoy broadcasting what is going on.

They also could steer away from all the funny quips. "Vijay Singh would sure like to make this birdie sing." Sigh. Sadly, if anyone reads that sentence, it might be heard around the country next week.

Update: I'm hearing this brownie comment is more sexual. Which is even dumber, but thanks to Scott for the update. I guess it is settled -- I'm not a pedophile or a sexual predator! Mom, print this out and put it on the fridge!

Tiger and Elin Welcome First Boy, Expectations Become Increasingly Ridiculous

When I woke up this morning and look at the email I had been sent about Tiger and Elin Woods welcoming their second child into this world, my thoughts were probably similar to yours.

"Wow this boy is going to be expected to be great, very fast."

Charlie Axel Woods was born on Sunday, February 8, on a day that, if healthy, Tiger would have probably won his favorite tournament on tour, the Buick Invitational at Torrey Pines.

Since Charlie and Elin are both in good health, and since I already watched the obligatory "Sportscenter" graphic on Tiger's achievements as a child (honestly, what would that line have been in Las Vegas. "Chances ESPN compares new child to Tiger on the first day of his birth," would we be talking about 1000-to-1? 100,000-to-1? Would it have not even been on the board.), I guess all that is left is to offer my congratulations.

I'm sure this kid will be athletic and good looking and shooting par in diapers. I also have a decent feeling his college fund might not go overlooked.

Scott Halleran, Getty Images

At Least Phil Mickelson's Fashion Is Improving

I'm not sure if you took in the Buick Invitational today, but if you got to the CBS coverage early, boy was Phil Mickelson a treat.

For the first time that I can rememeber, Mickelson was sporting a white belt, which is interesting since that fade hit golf about three years ago. It is nice he is jumping on board. Honestly, the long sleeve look he has going isn't my favorite, so I'm glad he is breaking that up with the whiteness.

The pimpy look didn't really help his golf however. Mickelson had a four-putt on the 6th hole today and shot 73-75 over the weekend to finish (currently) t-42. I'm planning on writing up something today or tomorrow about Mickelson's current golf, which should be interesting.

It won't be all about belts, but I promise it will include some reference to a flag of the same color. Get it? A white flag? Hiiiilarious.

Jeff Gross, Getty Images

Some FanHouse Stuff I've Knocked Out Of Late

Hola. Lets get to it.

Rich Beem found his own sponsors for this season.

If Tiger Woods and Barack Obama tee it up, can I be the playing reporter?

My guess on when we will see Tiger back on the PGA Tour.

Kenny Perry is the best golfer on tour right now. Period.

I Just Don't Get It

That is Boo Weekley talking about stuff. I don't get the hype. I don't get it at all. The guy drives me as insane as right-to-left five footers (I'm a lefty).

Explain to me the love for this guy please. I just can't get it.