Ehh, Who Wants a Million Bucks Anyway?

If you haven't heard this story yet, it's a great one to end your week and kick off a fantastic Halloween. At a charity event put on by Alonzo Mourning, a former Commodities Exchange chairman named Marty Greenberg made an ace on a par-three that was giving away a million dollars for such a score, but the guy won't get the money in exchange (seewhatIdidthere?) for the ace because the hole wasn't as long as they said it was supposed to be.

See, every tournament has a company that insures hole-in-one contests, and you pay a certain amount for yardage (obviously you're paying more for the insurance if the hole is shorter, less if it's longer). The company at this event was named Odds on Promotions, and they had insured the million bucks for a hole that play 150 yards or longer, and this one was supposed to be 150 yards.

Problem is, when a company gets had for a million bones, they do a little investigating, as you'd expect, and they found out that this hole wasn't playing as long as they'd said.

"It's obvious that Mr. Greenberg made his hole-in-one 12 to 15 yards less than the 150 yards," said Gilmartin. He claimed that when his team arrived on the course to measure the shot, the tees had been moved back from the tape-recorded tee-off location in order to achieve the proper yardage.

I have to say, I've seen this a bunch of times in pro-ams and it's good that this company had a camera set up so they didn't get screwed. The hole-in-one promotional sign will say something like "Win a Car!" and have the yardage, and the tees will be up a few yards from where they said. This could be as honest a mistake as some greenskeeper mowing and then moving the tees where he wanted, but that's why they have the small print.

That said, winning a million bucks only to find out you didn't get a cent of it has to feel a little like Dustin Johnson actually making that par putt on 18 at the PGA Championship only to find out he would be missing out on the playoff by a shot. Ouch.com.

h/t Busbee

Japan Tour About to Become 60 Percent Less Fun

Alright, if your kid is reading this, put your hands over his/her eyes for a moment. Done that? Okay, here goes ... golfers like doing drugs. It's a fact. Well, more to the point, golfers enjoy substances. No matter if it's caffeine or alcohol or drugs or even the occasional Charlie Sheen, golfers are going to get their fill somehow.

It's rare, outside of Corey Pavin's locker room, that you'll find a group of golfers that don't enjoy indulging. It is just part of the game.

So, for those golfers that do enjoy partying *taps nose, Japan is going to be the furthest place you'll want to visit. The tour is going to start drug testing starting early November because of Wayne Perske and his inability to keep his coke in his pocket.

Japan golf tour president Tadashi Koizumi says tests for illegal drugs such as marijuana and cocaine will begin at the Nov. 11-14 Taiheiyo Masters.

The 36-year-old Perske was allegedly carrying a packet containing 1.25 grams of cocaine in his pocket at a bar in Chiba prefecture on Friday and was later arrested.

The craziest part of this story, and my tidbit for "you learn something new everyday" - if you get caught with illegal drugs in Japan, you can get SEVEN years in prison. Holy hell. Even the cast of "Brokedown Palace" find that extreme.

So, yeah, if you're going to do drugs, I'd say the Japan Tour might not be your cup of tea.

(Completely random update: Not a good endorsement for Paris Hilton when I google "Japan drugs" and she is on the first page of the images FOUR times. Well done, Paris.

Second update: Try "Japan cocaine." She's every single damn picture.)

Tiger to Play in Thailand, Gives World First Exclamation Mark

It seems that November is Tiger Woods', ahem, month to give back to the people, and 2010 shall be no different than 2009.

Woods has committed to playing a one day skins game in Thailand, home country to his mother Kutilda, on November 8 in honor of King Bhumibol Adulyadej's 60th year on the Thai throne.

Ready for a quote that I'm sure Tiger said?!?

"The last time I played in Thailand was in 2000. I am really looking forward to coming back and hopefully win it all!" Woods said in a statement released Thursday by organizers.

Tiger continues his assault on every tournament outside the United States, and will be playing against Paul Casey, Camilo Villegas and Thongchai Jaidee for a small purse of $300,000.

I'm picking Thongchai in this one.

Melissa Reid: The Most Badass Golfer in the World

Chubbs, move over, we're got a new "golfer that gets attacked by animals" sheriff in town.

Melissa Reid, a golfer playing in the second round of the Sanya Ladies Open in China, was on the 16th hole, when she, umm, got bite by a snake. Seriously.

What happened next? Oh nothing besides Reid going on to make a birdie after the greens-keeper told her the snake wasn't poisonous.

Her caddie, Lee Griffiths, explained: “We were on the 16th and Mel said, ‘Oh my God, Lee, I’ve been bitten by a snake!’ It was about six foot and jumped at her out of the grass from behind a drain. I saw its fangs and I said, ‘I can see it’s bitten you because you’re bleeding. We had reassurance from the green-keeper that it’s not deadly. We were taking the cut through behind the 12th green and it’s a little swampy down there.”

Man, even Indiana Jones is impressed by Reid. Listen, I'm not that scared by snakes, but if I'm playing golf and a spider attacked me, there isn't a chance in the world I'm finishing that round.

Melissa, you are tougher than I.

Yes! More 'Who Will Be Number One?' Debate!!!

Nothing really gets golf journalist's blood a-flowin' like talk of who will overtake Tiger Woods as the top golfer in the official world rankings.

For most of the year it was Mr. Phil Mickelson who had a chance to take down Tiger, but he failed to do so because he decided to play the second of half of the golf season right-handed. Even though he didn't seem to have any game after Augusta, it was our duty to write up every single week that he was going to be number one in the world. I guess we all think someone cares.

But now it is Lee Westwood, or Martin Kaymer. One of the two will replace Tiger, and I'd give you the details how, but I'm sure you don't care. It's an inevitability that Tiger won't be number one come Thanksgiving (or even Veterans Day), as he shouldn't, because he definitely hasn't been the top golfer in the game the last year.

The bigger question is, does anyone care? Is it this big of a deal? Besides the guy that claims the number one spot, are people sitting at home in their Titleist caps, tapping their adidas golf shoes on the floor, waiting for the rankings to change like it's the BCS? No, I'm sure they don't.

It's the official world rankings! It's something that ranks the best golfers in the world, and sometimes does a miserable job at that! Who cares?!

But, yeah, Tiger won't be number one anymore. I'm sure there is some 5-year-old kid ready to toss his orange and black stripped headcover in the trash when that becomes official.

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Humm ... Decent Shot, Byrd

Lord have mercy ... a guy makes an ace to win a PGA Tour event in a playoff? Too bad he wasn't in a city that allowed gambling, because it seems he has the best luck of anyone in the world.

John Daly Channels His Inner-Fowler

On Thursday at the Justin Timberlake Shiners Hospital for Children Open, John Daly told reporters that he was in desperate need of "a Rocco week." Daly hasn't won on the PGA Tour since 2004, and before that, 1995, so yes, we can all agree that he needs a win.

But, does he need to dress like Justin Bieber Rickie Fowler the same week Fowler went all orange on us?

Honestly, that looks like two guys heading to a Tennessee game that didn't consult with one another beforehand.

What is the recent obsession with orange? Anyone know?

Ernie Els Won the Grand Slam of zzzzzzzzz

Ernie Els won the 2010 Grand Slam of Golf on Wednesday. He told the audience surrounding the green, "I'm gonna party like it's 1994!"

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Oh No! Anthony Kim Parties in Vegas!!

It is stories like this that make being a professional athlete seem a lot less sexy. Anthony Kim, a 25-year-old professional golfer that has three PGA Tour wins and has made over $11 million in career earnings, is in Las Vegas this weekend for the N'Sync Classic Justin Timberlake.

He is a young, successful guy that is playing in an event during the "offseason" of professional golf, especially for someone like him, who doesn't have to worry about his tour card, and he's out having a good time in Vegas, LIKE EVERY OTHER 25-YEAR-OLD ON THE PLANET EARTH DOES WHEN THEY GO TO VEGAS!

But, Kim is known as a "partier," so this must be trouble. Let the Las Vegas Review Journal take it away ...

Pro golfer Anthony Kim could use a lesson or two to brush up his gaming table etiquette. His salty language and screaming was so bad that Kim, 25, was asked to tone it down Monday by Bellagio management.

"He is one loose cannon," said a dealer, who said Kim may have set a personal record for F-bombs while playing high-stakes craps over the weekend.

Kim and poker superstar Phil Ivey were seated at the same table on Friday, ordering cognac and high-end whiskey.

Okay, a few things. First, Monday night to golfers is like Saturday night to us. They don't have anything going on the next day except possibly a nine-hole practice round and some range time. They have to unwind at some point, right? It isn't the f-ing Masters! It's a tournament in the Fall Series!

The uproar over stuff like this is frustrating. Kim seems like a chill dude, who enjoys life and his position and has some fun with it. I guarantee you if I was a PGA Tour player, entered in this event, I would have been sitting right next to Kim, tossing around the occasional curse word and tossing back a few drinks. He's living the life. Let him live it.

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The PGA Grand Slam of zzzzzzz ...

This is from the PGA Grand Slam of Golf Wikipedia page: "The PGA Grand Slam of Golf is an annual off-season golf tournament contested by the year's winners of the four major championships of regular men's golf, which are the Masters Tournament, the U.S. Open, The Open Championship (British Open), and the PGA Championship. It is one of several invitational events for leading male golfers which are held each year after the PGA Tour and the European Tour seasons have concluded. The competition is organized by the PGA of America and the prize money does not count towards the PGA Tour money list."

The tournament kicked off on Tuesday. It included Graeme McDowell (2010 U.S. Open Champion), Martin Kaymer (2010 PGA Championship winner), David Toms (2001 PGA Championship winner) and Ernie Els (three time major winner, the last being in 2002).

Seriously, when can we stop kidding ourselves that this tournament is what it says it is? It isn't. Not even close. Since 1997, there have only been four years that all four major winners actually showed up to this thing to play in it. Hell, Louis Oosthuizen, a first-time major winner at the British this season, skipped the damn thing.

It's a joke of an event to give major winners a chance to fly to Hawaii Bermuda and play some golf for a large sum of money that will only make us all realize how great their lives are and how much ours suck.

Honestly, I'd feel better if this thing was played in the dark and never reported on, like one of those Yale clubs that everyone wants to join but only sends out invitations to Kennedys.

Btw, David Toms? Really? What, was Lee Janzen busy filming a baby powder commercial?

(Update: I looked up how much the winner got, and realized it was $600,000. I bet Toms couldn't jump on that plane fast enough when they called him to be in this thing.)

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Greg Norman Is Giving Hal Sutton A Run For His Money

I truly believe this and don't care what anyone says, some people are engineered to be married and some aren't. My mom? Engineered to be married. She's nice and loving and friendly and awesome. Tiger Woods? Not so much. He is too famous for one woman, and has proved that in his first attempt.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with being the single man for life, as long as you are big enough to understand that. People get married too young, at the wrong time too often, and it backfires, thus the reason divorce is so prevalent in this world. But enough serious talk, because all this is based around the fact that Greg Norman is GETTING MARRIED AGAIN! Geez. This guy doesn't learn.

After his first divorce cost him $103 million, and his second marriage to Chris Evert blew up in his face so quickly it almost seemed like a Vegas fling, the Aussie superduperstar is getting hitched again, this time to a 41-year-old named Kirsten Kutner.

I guess I just don't get it. Maybe he's in love, maybe he isn't, but the bottom line is, WHY INSIST ON GETTING MARRIED? WHAT IS THIS PROVING? Are these people so insecure that they must have someone linked to them at all times, no matter what the future will most likely hold?

Famous people that read this blog: stop getting married. Just stop it. There are .01 percent of famous people that can get married and withstand the temptations outside of their loving bedroom. It isn't the famous person's fault as much as it is our society, with girls and guys that would do anything for a star, but it is your fault if you, for lack of a better phrase, put a ring on it.

Norman, I'm setting the over/under on 21 months, and taking the under.

A Two Week Recap

Two weeks ago, as the Ryder Cup was ending, thus sending most golf writers into hibernation for three months, I was boarding a flight to Alabama to spend two weeks on the road with the LPGA, caddying and interacting and essentially becoming one of their own.

Before, when I was pulling caddie duties, I felt like an outsider, one of those guys that was around but wasn't really around. The kind of guy that Michelle Wie would accidentally call "Sean," (which happened, even if only as a joke) because, honestly, why the hell would she remember my name?

The first stop on my caddie tour was in Prattville, Alabama, a place so different from the place I live that when asking the lady that runs the gym where I should head to get some "good, local food," she recommended Outback Steakhouse. Seriously.

The week started off with a practice round with some of Irene Cho's best friends, Christina Kim and Cristie Kerr. For all the talent that Irene possesses, it still takes a push and a shove from me to convince her that she is one of the best golfers in the world, something I absolutely believe, especially after spending some time around a few of these golfers. It was a vote of confidence from one of the best players in the world to Irene's game that made me realize I'm not the only one that sees it. Irene is good. That was shown the first two days at Alabama.

Irene shot 68-68, good enough for 8-under after two days and very much in the hunt. The score could have been a shot lower on Friday if not for an older gentleman that felt Irene's putting was getting in the way of his coughing. Standing over a six-footer on her 18th hole, Irene was beaming with confidence after a well played 17 holes, and if she cashing this putt, 9-under would be her two day score. But just as she took the putter back, someone in the bleachers cleared his throat with the shrewdness of A F-16 jet engine, Irene flinched, the putt went left, and the man got a look that he won't soon forget.

The weekend didn't go as smoothly. Putts weren't dropping like they had the day before. Lag putts seemed to stop a foot or so faster than they had the first two days. The scores weren't coming together. It was an absolute lesson in professional golf. The adage that most have heard before is that, "tournaments can't be won on the first day, but they sure can be lost." That absolutely can be flipped around. Yes, it's awesome to have two solid opening rounds, but if there isn't much going in over the weekend, those two rounds are for naught. It is the type of situation that, as I always try to say to Irene, can be looked at positively. Sure, you didn't fire rounds of 68-67 over the weekend to win the damn thing, but what did you learn? What can you take from this? How can you make it be better the next time? It's tough to try and build on that right away, but I guarantee that the Alabama week will be something Irene has in the back of her head the next time she goes out on fire. She will just try and take each round a shot at a time, and hopefully the putts won't be so scared of the hole.

The next stop was San Francisco, but I must jump in for a second and tell you this; the fact that ANY LPGA player can travel by themselves is astonishing. Irene, who packed fairly lightly as I came to found out, had a HUGE golf bag, a HUGE clothes bag, another bag that she carries on, and a purse that, well, was as far from a clutch as possible (seriously, you could have pulled three miners out of that thing). I was there helping her through the airport, and even I was struggling with it all. The fact that she can do this alone is impressive enough for me. I would have ended up having some sort of meltdown in the middle of Atlanta airport, with all my bags laying around me like one of those street salesmen outside the Spanish Steps in Rome.

But, back to golf. We flew to San Francisco, drove to Danville, and set out scopes on a golf course that makes the word "hilly" seem flat. This golf course shouldn't be walked ... ever. It is the type of golf course that golf carts were invented for. How steep was the damn thing? During a practice round, one of the shuttle carts that took people from No. 11 to No. 12 nearly flipped out BACKWARDS with three LPGA players on the back. Yes, the front two tires were OFF THE GROUND. It almost seems that a law should be in place against that sort of thing. My back actually just started aching thinking about Blackhawk.

If Alabama was a good night ending with someone puking in the bathroom with a friend holding her hair back, Danville was a hungover morning that just continues to get better. Irene was three-over after four holes on Thursday. We three-putted the 10th, 11th and 13th holes. I must admit (and I told Irene this on Sunday evening, only to get the death stare) that at one point, I was thinking about flying home on Friday. But again, that's the difference between a pro golfer and someone like me, who has a golf game that resembles Homer Simpson (I fall, and I can't get up). Irene started battling back. She made birdie on 14.

She three-putted the 16th to give it back, only to hit it close on 17 and lip-out for birdie. We were 3-over after eight holes, but the best was yet to come. Standing in the 18th fairway, our 9th hole of the day, Irene's tee shot had left us 141 yards in. We contemplated the club, deciding on an 8-iron. Irene hit it, and I found myself yelling "go in the hole" as it had locked on with the flagstick. This thing was going to be good, you could just feel it. That good? Nope, I didn't really know it was going to do that. The ball took two big hops on the rock-hard greens, checked, rolled and disappeared for an eagle. The look on Irene's face was priceless, as it should be. She had just cashed a golf shot to get her back in this golf tournament. Irene went on to post even-par on Thursday, and a 71 on Friday.

While Saturday was a struggle, it was Sunday that shows how tough Irene can be as a golfer. In rainy, shitty, nasty, crappy conditions, Irene made four birdies and an eagle to close with 68, the third lowest score of the day. She had fought back and finished 33rd.

Golf tournaments are a dance with the devil you hope ends with a proper smooch. Nothing about them are easy, but if you can keep your head afloat for long enough, you might just finish stronger than you'd hoped.

I cherished the two weeks I had, and made even more buddies on the LPGA Tour that I hope will remember me, even if they insist on calling me Sean.

Now, back to that ice pack on my back ...

Charlie Rymer, You're Silly

It appeared that this week Charlie Rymer took time out of his busy crying schedule to write a "10 ways to improve golf" piece for The Golf Channel.

Some of the things you'd expect to see from such an article; don't play by the same rules as pros, play less holes for more fun, set tee times right when the sun comes up, but the best one, the BEST SUGGESTION I'VE EVER HEARD EVER, came with this little gem from Rymer.

2) Players choose which tees they play from. They should also be able to choose the size of the hole they play to. Courses should have a regulation hole and a 10-inch hole on every green. This would have a major impact on pace of play and enjoyment.

PLAY TO A DIFFERENT CUP SIZE*!?!! THIS IS BRILLIANT! You know when you're playing pickup basketball, and there is the 10-foot hoop and then the one next to it that is 7-feet, with a rim twice the size and a mini trampoline in front of it for us "regular basketball players"? That is the same thing as this!

Why putt to that itty-bitty hole when you can putt to a GIGANTIC HOLE THAT EVERY BALL WILL FALL INTO? Oh, and of COURSE this will increase the pace of play, because, as we all know, it is how long amateurs take on the greens that slows the round down, not them searching in the rough and the hazard and the bushes for their lost ball, along with them taking seven shots to get on the green.

Other Rymer Sports Suggestions

-- Rookie major league baseball players only get change-ups thrown at them, because they aren't as used to the really fast pitches as experienced guys in the league.
-- Swimmers that aren't Olympic level must only train in the baby pool.
-- Non-Grandmaster chess players must only play chess with checkers pieces.
-- High school football games must be flag.
-- Mediocre tennis players must use doubles court even if playing singles.
-- Pool tables at bars must make pockets five feet wide.
-- Rafael Nadal must wear ankle weights in hope of leveling the playing field in pro tennis.

* = toughest "Tiger-bra" joke I've ever had to avoid in my life

Transgender Woman Sues the LPGA

It's the type of story that has always haunted the game of golf since the days of Old Tom Morris. A lady that used to be a man has decided to sue the LPGA because of their "female at birth" rule that is in place.

Yep, a transgender female is taking it to the LPGA because they won't let chicks that used to be dudes play on their tour. The person in question is 57-year- old Lana Lawless (Ed. Note: If you want to be taken seriously as a chick after once being a dude, don't pick a name that sounds like a cross between a stripper and porn star.), who changed sexes five years ago and won a 2008 long-drive competition for women with a smacking of 254-yards (yesh, sounds pretty girly to me).

She is suing the LPGA, three LPGA sponsors, and the Long Drivers of America, basically saying it is wrongful to discriminate against people that are "legally female."

"I am, in all respects, legally and physically female," Lawless said in a statement Wednesday. "The state of California recognizes me as such and the LPGA should not be permitted to come into California and blatantly violate my rights. I just want to have the same opportunity to play professional golf as any other woman."

All jokes aside, I don't care what someone claims themselves to be (trust me, a lot of times on the golf course I call my guy friends girl names, especially when they leave putts short). I don't care if you're straight, gay or transgender. The only problem here is if your old man self is giving you different advantages that females born females don't have.

That said, I talked with some LPGA players yesterday about this issue, and they all said the same thing - "Let her try to get through Q-School. She won't make it." It's true if you think about it. Golf is way more about getting the ball in the hole from 100 yards and in than it is about hitting the golf ball 20 yards further than your opponent. A transgender might be able to put a little more pop in the ball off the tee, but if Lana Lawless can't putt, she won't be getting very far professionally.

My Favorite Picture of the Weekend

I have absolutely no idea what Joe Ozaki is doing in this picture, but I think he could bring that move to "Dancing With the Stars."

And some DTCC news: I was caddying (again, I know) for Irene Cho this week in Alabama. I'll be heading to San Fran tomorrow to caddie again at the course that everyone tells me "is the hilliest course on tour." Great, just what my shoulders need.

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The Official World Rankings Seem Legit

So a long time ago, Tiger Woods took over the World Golf Ranking from Tiger Woods. It was actually June 12, 2005 when Tiger snagged the top spot in the rankings away from Vijay Singh. He has been atop this list ever since.

The rankings are made to rate the best golfers in the world. Two years ago, Tiger won the U.S. Open, and then stopped playing golf because he injured his knee and it needed surgery. He'd take off golf from June 15, 2008 to March 12, 2009, a span that Tiger kept the top ranking the entire time, although he wasn't playing. Some though it might give others a chance to overtake him, but he had accumulated enough points to keep the ranking. When he won at Bay Hill two tournaments later, he secured the number indefinitely.

Now comes a similar situation. Tiger is still the top golfer in the rankings, but hasn't had the type of year we are used to seeing from the man in red. Talk for the second half of 2010 has been about Phil Mickelson having multiple chances of becoming number one in the world for the first tim in his illustrious career. Given that Phil will most likely never win the career Grand Slam because of his struggles at the British, this honor could be the last feather in his career cap. Mickelson had a crummy second half of the season, however, and could never jump Tiger.

But Lee Westwood can now, even though he's been hurt since the Bridgestone Invitational in early August. Actually, he will jump him no matter what. Thus the power of the Official World Rankings. See, Lee could have been number one in the world if he had finished first or second at the Dunhill Links Championship this week, but he said his lingering calf issue continues to bother him (didn't say much about that last week at the Ryder Cup, *nudgenudge).

No matter, even if he doesn't start the Portugal Masters next week, an event he had penciled into his schedule, he will be number one over Woods by the end of the month.

I know the rankings are a two year process, but it seems rather ridiculous that a guy could top someone after he's been hurt for nearly three months. The guy isn't even playing and he's gaining points to swing past Woods?

The irony of it all is that Tiger would still have a ton of points from this time two years ago if it hadn't been for his injury. But, whatever ... let the best crippled golfer win.

Colin Montgomerie Wins Ryder Cup, Goes Back To Talking Crazy

I don't know what it was about Colin Montgomerie at Celtic Manor, but for the first time in a long time, I remember leaving the event with a newfound respect for the Scot. He has been, to put it bluntly, an arse for most of his career, so for a guy like myself to start thinking highly of the man again was a big thing.

And then he got to St. Andrews for the Dunhill Links and started talking crazy again. Monty, never one to shy away from the microphone on any issue, spoke of two things.

The first was his push for a change in the European selection process for the Ryder Cup. He mentioned having to leave out Justin Rose and Paul Casey was, "was the worst day of my professional career," which I'm sure most captains would agree with. Having to make that call is probably one of the toughest in the world, rivaling a breakout phone call between two lengthy lovers (Ed. Note: Rarrr).

The second point he brought up made me laugh. Monty said that his focus for 2012 was making the Ryder Cup as a player.

"I have to refocus on my game after two years of focusing on the way other people are playing," Montgomerie said. "But I would have to take my game to a new level to make the team again. Even higher than it was in 1997-98, when I was playing my best golf - because since then the standard of golf being played on tour has improved so much."

Monty will be 49 when the next matches are around, and he is currently ranked 425th in the world (juuuust outside the number to make the Cup team). He hasn't won a European Tour event since 2007, and seems to be well past his prime as an elite golfer. I'm sure Colin would love to make the team as a player, but so would I, so I guess we both have that going for us. Looks like I'll really need to focus over the next two years to make sure I get the nod from the American captain.

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Ammmmerrricaaaa, F--K No?

Lee Westwood was one of the influential members of the 2010 European Ryder Cup win. He also moved to second in the world on Monday, and has a good chance at becoming the top dog if he can play decent at the Dunhill Links Championship this week in Scotland (tough to do when you've been drinking five days straight).

So what to do as his encore performance? Stop playing on the PGA Tour, that's why. His reasoning? Well, it isn't going to shock you and me, but it might piss off a man or two at PGA Tour headquarters.

"I don't want to be dictated to by having to go to America to play FedEx Cup when it doesn't really mean that much to me. It doesn't mean enough to me anyway.

"I think they (the PGA Tour) would like me to go and be a member there, but as of Monday evening I became an individual again and I do what's right for Lee Westwood now."

Talk about a blow to the FedEx Cup, but honestly, it's nice to see someone say things like this. A week or so ago I got an interesting e-mail from a guy high up at the PGA Tour questioning my article about the FedEx Cup. He said that players do in fact love the playoffs, but Westwood basically disses that claim.

This shouldn't surprise most people. While the PGA Tour is always thought to be the best tour in the world, and most people swarm it because of the money, it isn't like the European Tour is chopped liver. Those guys are really good, and the money is still fantastic, and Westwood obviously isn't worried about his bank account.

He wants to be closer to home and you can't blame him for that. The thing is, not having him on the PGA Tour means we will only see him a couple of times a year. That part definitely sucks.

A Little Something For The Ladies

Okay, here is your obligatory "Camilo Villegas being naked in the ESPN the Magazine shoot" photo. I mean, what can a man say about this? Well, glad you asked.

This picture defines Villegas in my opinion. A guy that will go down in history for two things, his muscles and that stupid Spiderman thingy he does. In 20 years we won't remember him as the golfer, but we will remember him as one of the forefathers to the fitness era in professional golf.

He's jacked. He's flexible. We can all agree on those two things. Do I particularly like Villegas? I honestly don't have an opinion. He seems to be very much a five out of 10 on the interest scale, but he has abs and biceps and he can do whatever the hell that thing is he is doing in the above picture.

The ladies will swoon, the men will suck in their guts, and we will all go on about our days. So, yeah, naked golfers!

Ten Things We Learned From This Ryder Cup

The Ryder Cup ended with Europe snatching it back by a point. The matches were incredible, but what did we really learn? Dive in and see ...

1.) Johnny Miller needs to go -- My colleague Jonathan Wall does a weekly roundup of the television coverage during golf events, and it is always a great read. While I usually agree with him, this week I'm on the complete other side of the boat. Johnny Miller is so horrible at his job that it makes watching golf seem like one of those college classes you hated attending. Not only does he comment that every third or fourth putt is easy, but he made an Oakmont reference AT THE RYDER CUP! I Tweeted a lot about Miller this week and got hardly any negative feedback from viewers. That should tell NBC something about having him on for the next Ryder Cup. We lose Gary McCord at the Masters for a body-bag joke and this guy can't say something controversial and get fired? Life isn't fair.

2.) The Europeans are better golfers than the Americans -- For years it seemed that the Americans should win this event anytime it was played. Our bucket of talent was miles deeper than the Europeans, and while they had scrappy golfers that could Seve it around the golf course, it was never anything too intimidating. That isn't the case now. From top to bottom the Europe roster was better, and the Americans would have gladly taken Justin Rose and Paul Casey on their team if they could have. As Phil Mickelson, Jim Furyk, Steve Stricker and Tiger Woods continue to age and the young Europe talent continues to gain experience, this thing could turn into a traditional rout.

3.) Players should vote for captains after the matches, and if their approval rating is high enough, should get another year to captain -- Imagine if you were CEO of a company and you did all the right moves. Is that company going to let you go anytime soon? Nope, of course not. Now, imagine you are a captain of a Ryder Cup and make all the right calls. Why aren't you allowed another year to show off your skills? I think after the matches, all 12 players and vice captains should be forced to fill out a comprehensive analysis of the captain, and if the number scores a high enough percentage, that captain is asked back. I would have loved to see 'Zinger go up against Colin this week.

4.) Hunter Mahan's chip was not a choke job -- You can't blame Hunter for that chip shot on the 17th hole to lose the match to Graeme McDowell. Blame the way he played all day long before that ... blame the tee shot he hit there that came up a good club short ... hell, blame his caddie, but you can't blame Mahan for chunking that chip. He knew he needed to hole it, and was trying to pick a wedge clean so it could fly past the fringe and have a shot of going in. He didn't execute it, but he was going to lose anyway.

5.) Players need to stick to their routine -- If you do something the same for 101 weeks in a row, and it worked, why would you suddenly change that just because there is a person working alongside you? Too many times this week it seemed guys like Dustin Johnson and Phil Mickelson were trying too hard to help the other out, instead of just going through the usual routine that got you there.

6.) Sun Mountain sucks -- Just thought I'd make that clear once more.

7.) Monday finishes are awesome -- I know that it must suck for people that have to go to actual jobs, but the Monday finish in golf is so great during football season. It gives golf a chance to be highlighted, and the focal point of the sports world.

8.) Tiger Woods might never lose another singles match -- For some reason, when Tiger gets on the tee at a Ryder Cup in a singles match, he just turns it to another level. No, he didn't play great during the week with Steve Stricker, but when he got down to the less insane Molinari brother early on Monday, he just decided he wasn't going to lose that.

9.) It's easy to hate a lot of the Europeans, and that's a good thing -- For one time every two years, it is okay to openly root against certain golfers. Guys like Edoardo Molinari and Ian Poulter are exactly the reason the Ryder Cup is great, because as an American I am forced to hate them, and I'm sure some Europeans could say the same thing for Tiger and Anthony Kim. Hating the other team is a key component in the fun of these matches.

10.) We need a way to combine the Presidents Cup and Ryder Cup every four years -- Screw the Olympics, how great would it be if we had some World Cup for golf every four years where the International team, the American team and the European team all went at it for four days of team competition. I don't know how it would work, but it would be awesome, and it would give us more chance to make fun of Camilo Villegas.

The Best Tiger Woods Photo Ever

You might remember on Saturday, Tiger Woods hitting it left of the 18th green with his second shot. He was in some gnarly rough, and ended up hitting his shot fat. How fat? It hit a cameraman's lens. The best part? The guy took a photo of the shot as it was all up in his grill.

Thank you Mark Pain, for keeping that finger on the trigger.

Jeff Overton is Awesome

Just watch this. How do you not love this guy?

I Mean, What The Hell?

This photo above is what Miguel Angel Jimenez does with his hair. No, it isn't a joke. It isn't some Photoshopped wig off the one dollar bill, or some karaoke thing he did with Cher. This is the look Jimenez goes with to have his photo shown on national television for all the world to see.

He woke up one morning and did this to his hair, and people told him "Well done!" They patted him on his back and tousled his locks and told him, "Miguel, you are a beautiful man!"

That is the look that one of the 12 best golfers in Europe is sporting. We could lose every match for the rest of eternity and we'd still be winners compared to that.

Sun Mountain Might Need to Change Their Website

If you've spent any part of your morning reading about the Ryder Cup, you know that the rain jackets the Americans were wearing have basically been rendered obsolete at Celtic Manor, because, well, they don't stop rain from soaking you.

The Americans were all wearing these Sun Mountain jackets, and all were complaining of them not doing their job, forcing Tiger Woods to even take it off during the matches in an absolute downpour.

So, as a reader in the Devil Ball live chat pointed out, why don't we go to their website and read up on the jacket. This is exactly what the site says about their rain jackets.

Our RainFlex HD has the same list of attributes our standard line of RainFlex does; it's waterproof, windproof, stretchable, breathable, comfortable and quiet. The difference is we designed it for a climate where the wind tends to drive the rain sideways. It's perfect for that long-planned trip to Scotland.

Ha! "Perfect for that long-planned trip to Scotland," unless you're planning on going when it rains.

Honestly, what a joke, right? More on RainJacketGate to come, I'm sure.

Getty Images

Images From a Very Rainy Ryder Cup

As you know, the Ryder Cup has been delayed about six days because of rain. I called it a night at 4:00 AM my time and napped for a few hours and came back and golf WAS STILL NOT ON! It kicks off in about 15 minutes.

A few things you should know:

-- I went from hating Jeff Overton to loving him in a matter of one hole. No American could hit the first fairway, and he stripes it, hits a good shot that went just a little long, and then cashes a snake for birdie. On top of all that, he screamed "BOOM!" as it went in. Loving that guy.

-- Sun Mountain is probably not going to get a lot of Thank You cards from the American boys.

-- Stricker and Woods will be broke up by Saturday afternoon.

Getty Images, AP, and Poulter's Twitter