Friday, March 13, 2009

62-Year-Old Lady, I Hate You Too


There is a lot of hate on Dogs today, isn't there?

I have an oath to myself and my family that until I am lucky enough to get a hole-in-one, I will hate, with all my being, anyone and everyone that has an ace.

Unni Haskell, I hate you too.

First hole of her life. First swing on a course. Hole-in-one.

"I didn't know it was that big of a deal,'' she said. "I thought all golfers do this.''


Oh, Unni, you thought everyone did it? Yeah, everyone does do it. Did you know just last week every American in the world won the Powerball? Yep, every single person in this country is now worth $44 million. Oh, and did you know all the people in my apartment complex can dunk? Yep, two hand slams, reverses, no looks ... they can throw it all down. Home runs at Fenway? Kids play. Being president? I took the job for a couple of years.

Yep, easy as pie. Did you yawn after your hole-in-one? I played 18 holes the other day with my uncle. My scorecard looked like this.

1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 - 9
1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 - 9

Yep, I shot an 18. Nice weather out there that day. Whoa, is that a snail on my floor?

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