You Stay Classy, Alma Mater

If you haven't been lucky enough to see some of my old classmates acting especially impressive last night, here is the video. It appears that a fan threw a bottle of water at USC's Davon Jefferson last night at the end of the game. Let me clear something up from this report - I went to U of A, and if a kid is crazy enough to throw a bottle at a player, I PROMISE you it wasn't water.



The story, over at Sports By Brools says the the Tucson police are on the investigation, which means either the guy will get a red tag at his next party or a DUI on the drive home. Anything else and the cops get extremely confused and end up giving a DUI to the reporter.

A Play that is Defining Our '08 Lakers

If this was a play to define the Isiah Thomas era in New York, the above play is what defines our newly unbeatable Lakers.

Ball bounces around, lands in Kobe's hands, throws it over his head, just out of Shawn Marion's reach, behind the back in stride, dunk by Lamar. This team is getting downright scary.

When Athletes Have Too Much Money

If you haven't seen this at With Leather, I'm sure you'll enjoy.

I'm happy to welcome to DTCC Man City midfielder Stephen Ireland, who, it seems, isn't a product of my dad's generation. The guy spent nearly $180,000 on this custom Range Rover, in an attempt to appeal more to the Ryan Seacrest side of soccer fans.

Hey, at least he looks normal in the driver's seat!

Ehhh, That Couldn't Have Been How They Drew It Up...

I have one thing to say to any prospective lottery picks when being televised nationally for one of the few times of the year - when you get this opportunity, try not to have your worst game of the season.

Arizona lost to USC last night where both potential draft stars on the Wildcats combined for 15 points, a total that O.J. Mayo eclipsed by five points on his own.

This was a game scouts watched, hoping to see Mayo, Jerryd Bayless and Chase Budinger show their skirts. At least one of them had a game.

This Arizona Wildcat team is going to give me stomach ulcers at 24. I guarantee you've never seen a more psychotic team than these guys, a team that is so short-benched that they had to play Fendi Onobun for 19 minutes, and HE IMPRESSED ME!

Is this one of the reasons people do drugs? I'm predicting an nine seed for the Wildcats, who will probably lose in the first round but if not, could get beat by 100 points by a one seed. Watch the UCLA game this weekend if you doubt me.

Whom Would You Rather Be?

In case you didn't know, the past year or so has produced some rather high profile athletes in sketchy situations. Yeah, it wasn't the Vikings Boat Party of The Palace Melee, this was serious shit with serious federal reach-arounds. So, of all the people listed below, whom would you rather be?

Micheal Vick - It has to suck when you're greatest sporting accomplishment is losing the National Championship game. Vick's been called on for herpes, trying to carry pot on an airplane and is now serving 23 months for dogfighting and such. Hey, at least he has some backing in prison.

Roger Clemens - Dude pitched great for a long time - problem is, steroids are illegal (whoda thunk it?). Anyway, when the FBI is getting involved and you're the front page story on CNN.com, things aren't looking good. Also, your name will forever be linked to steriods, lies, butt blood and butt lumps - never a good thing.

John Rocker - You're racist, sexist, a moron and will be best known in my generation as a guy mocked by Deadspin. Hey, at least you look good in a sexy shirt!

Pacman Jones - First, your name is Pacman. Second, you took "making it rain" to a completely different level. Third, you went from successful NFL star to this.

So, which would you rather be? Tough choice if you ask me.

Maybe Not So "Tough"

I remember checking the PGAtour.com headlines yesterday and seeing a story about how PGA National was going to play tough this week for players.

Obviously, Luke Donald used that article for Wednesday night toilet paper.

Donald shot a bogey-free 64 to take the first round lead, with some other "notable" golfers at the top of this star-studded field. Top-ranked player in the worldErnie Els shot a 67, Jerry Kelly carded a 68 and Woody Austin shot 70.

When your second and third "highlighted" players are Jerry Kelly and Woody Austin, this could be the weekend to do yard work instead of laying on the couch to watch the Honda Classic.

Anyway, I still believe that anyone that wears a visor on the golf course should sustain multiple penalty shots throughout the day, but Donald continues to wear the half-hat, even though he is under the age of 60 and is not a woman.

Tommy Armour III withdrew after shooting a 41 on the first nine, I'm sure because of an illness or family emergency.

Will Ferrell Actually Shoots the Rock Pretty Damn Well

I hate to be one to steal from the ESPN comments, especially from a guy that calls himself "koothy," but the man has a damn good point - the Knicks could use Will Ferrell.

This video of Ferrell and Bill Walton playing horse shows that Ferrell could at least be on the Knicks bench for technical foul shots. I mean, isn't that just a funnier, less douchebaggy version of J.J. Reddick?

I'm a big believer in the fact that Ferrell has hitched a ride on this sports-dumb-comedy horse one movie too long, but at least the man's got solid rotation on his shot. Knicks, seriously, you don't think he'd put more fans in the seats than Renaldo Balkman?

Boring Day

Man, it's a boring day in the sporting world. A boring golf tournament starts tomorrow, Tennessee lost last night in a "not so surprising" upset and the Lakers keep getting better and better.

I guess some interesting news is coming out of other parts of our world, including the fourth installment of the Bourne series even though Robert Ludlum only wrote three books.

William F. Buckley Jr. died today, so that is newsworthy, along with a pilot channeling his inner Ben Affleck at a Washington airport, resulting in the option of joining the mass group of Monster.com users.

One last thing - if you haven't seen this on Deadspin, check out this photo of Bronco legend John Elway, who probably isn't working out with Roger Clemens as much as he should. I'm sure if I was a pro athlete that had been working out hard since I was an embryo, taking some good lounging time would be on the agenda as well.

Oh My Lord, Maybe Not An 8-9 Seed?

I just looked at the amazing conglomeration that is Bracketology and a crazy thing happened - Arizona wasn't projected as an eight or nine seed.

Hooray for life! I can't believe it! Let the rioting down Fourth Avenue begin! Skip your Trads young bucks, go out and enjoy college life as it should be! Arizona was an eight seed in 2007, 2006 and a nine seed in 2004. Yes, none of those years ended well.

I just wanted to take this time to say that the fact I'm bragging about the Arizona Wildcats not being an eight or nine seed should speak volumes for where this program has landed. Long live Jason Terry!

Also, this picture honestly makes me more depressed than happy.

Update: Please just watch this and remember the days of total Tucson dominance.

Who is the Most Disappointing Major Winner

It is fairly easy to argue the whole "Best Golfer To Have Never Won a Major." You'd say someone like Sergio Garcia or Adam Scott, a couple of young guys with quarts of talent that will someday have more than a couple to their name (that is, if Tiger gets hurt or quits playing).

The better argument to me is which golfer in the past ten years has been the biggest letdown after notching a major championship. You know, those guys you always think of and say to yourself, "He only won one big tournament in his entire career? Man he must suck at putting."

So, the list is as follows, including many of whom I find humorous to coin "Artist formerly known as..." Hey, it makes me chuckle.

Fred Couples - The reason for this argument, Couples won the 1992 Masters and that was that. Freddy was Player of the Year twice, was named to five Ryder Cup teams and won 15 times on the PGA Tour, which even seems low for the dusty-haired man. Boom-Boom (God, what a stupid nickname) finished in the top-10 a remarkable ten times, and what is even more remarkable is the time span he did it in - his first was a a tie for third in 1982 at the PGA Championship and his last, a tie for third at the Masters in 2006.

Davis Love III - For some reason, when I was stupider younger, I always thought Davis Love was really good. I guess I didn't totally understand the meaning of "good." Love won the 1997 PGA Championship, and has never raelly done anything else. You get moments of greatness from Love (see 2003 Players Championship), but mostly a guy that will be remembered for his Polo sponsorship.

Justin Leonard - The fellow Texan has won 11 times on the PGA Tour, including the 1997 British Open. The thing is, he's been on the cusp of winning numerous times, including the playoff in the 1999 British after the Van de Velde fiasco.

David Duval - Alright, I know, not that fair. Everyone can make a David Duval joke about golf. "Hey David, how's that swing change coming?" "Hey David, is Nike still knocking down your door?" "Hey David, I'm going snowboarding next weekend and have never tried it, so maybe you can win in something." The guy was at the top of the golf world in 1999 and even shot a damn 59 in a tournament! Now, he's made four cuts in two years, with his best finish a tie for 39th.

Well, that was fun. My vote is for Davis Love. Take a page from Vijay Singh - you can putt like a dog and still win a lot.

Who Doesn't Love a Honda?!?!

After the WGC World Match-Play ended on Sunday in dramatic fashion, the golf world takes a little baby nap until the Masters, especially since the move of the Players Championship to May.

We might see Tiger Woods twice until the April 10th Masters, so here is where we have to make these "other" PGA Tour events a little interesting. You hope to see some rookies like Chez Reavie or Martin Laird get a win to secure them for a couple of years, but most of the time the back-seat riders on tour pick up a win or a top-five to get them in the top 125 for 2009.

Think about it like this - the entire field has a total of 17 major championships to El Tigre's 13, with five of those coming from the artists formerly known as Ernie Els and Retief Goosen. Also, David Duval and Davis Love III are in the field, so follow those guys around if you ever get mixed up and think it's 1999.

I'd say Steve Marino and Justin Leonard are my picks to win, but I also picked the Patriots in the Super Bowl and Arizona to cover against UCLA, when they got beat by a smidgen under 30 points. Yep, my picks go a looooonnngg way.

Oh No, What if Berman Does the Masters?

I had a terrible feeling rush through my body tonight as I was watching the Texas-Kansas State game. The ESPN Masters commercial came on with Gary Player making the eagle putt on 15, and my eyes grew to silver dollars as a pit grew in my stomach.

What if Chris Berman is part of the Masters coverage?

Could you imagine? My favorite sporting event of the year, the last great sporting telecast that avoids commercials for the good of amazing golf, could be corrupted by someone saying Stewart "Throw in Everything but the Kitchen" Cink? Lord, it makes me want to drink on a Monday.

It is almost a non-argument. Berman is usually a part of U.S. Open coverage when ESPN hosts Thursday and Friday coverage, and it probably won't be any different. He'll probably be the "color" guy for the golf tournament, and my only hope is he takes advice, and only takes advice, from Gary McCord.

Honestly, it might make me officially hate broadcasting as a whole if I hear that annoying ass voice say something like, "Welcooooooooommmmeee to daaaaaaaaaaa Mastasssssssssssssssssss." It honestly makes me cringe.

Up next - President Bush re-reads the "Gettysburg Address."

What A Solid Weekend

You'd have to say, in the lull that is the time between the Super Bowl and March Madness, this weekend ranks pretty damn high on the sportsability ranking.

Tennessee at Memphis - A good girl friend of mine that lives in LA sent me a text halfway though this game that said, "I think I'm going to need a nap after watching this game, it's that intense." Yep, you read that right, a girl from Los Angeles said that - you know it was a pretty intense game when that happens.

Tiger Woods won - 8 & 7. That is about all you need to know about a week dominated by a golfer that needed to practically birdie out in his first round match to survive J.B. Holmes. Fun stuff to watch, even if you hate golf.

Arizona at Washington State - Sure, you guys might not care, but this was a must win for the Wildcats, who needed something positive to happen if they wanted to make the tournament. Maybe the best thing to come from this win - Chase Budinger decided he was going to be good again.

Nascar

Cavs new Clique - I'm not at all a Cavalier fan, but I do like watching Lebron James play well without complaining. The new crew all contributed last night as the Cavs beat the Memphis Tiger Memphis Grizzlies. Ok, maybe not the most impressive win, but Lebron seemed content.

Mavs over Timberwolves - Again, it isn't beating the Lakers, but Jason Kidd did notch 17 assists for the Mavs, a season high, in their win over Minnesota. I'm probably not the only person to say this, but Kidd is a slightly better passer than shooter. Slightly.

Along with all the fun this weekend, Texas plays Kansas State tonight. I'm wondering if Michael Beasley will have any points or rebounds.

Wow

Tiger Woods won today.

It wasn't as much a win as it was one guy playing one game and the other playing something completely different. I've heard from a few people that Tiger's newfound totalitarian grasp on the PGA Tour makes golf a little boring to watch, but I'm on the other side of that argument - watching someone do something absolutely perfect never gets old to me.

Tiger continues to play a game that most people have never seen, similar to the rainbow adding a new stranger hue that the eye had never seen before. I understand that the reason Tiger is in this new grove and has always had this ability to dominate has nothing to do with his physique or his putting stroke. It's the six inches between his ears, plain and simple, that makes him the best golfer in the world. The guy stands over a golf ball knowing exactly how he's going to hit it and where it's going to go, not hoping. His hope is truth, and it has become damn scary how well he handles the situation.

Sure, Tiger might go in another "slump" where he only wins five tournaments in a year instead of nine, but this is fun to watch. When people speak of pro golfers around the water coolers, there should be "pros" and "Tiger." The man is writing something other than a history book.

Credit: Robert Beck/SI

All Square with Tiger

Update - Tiger just conceded number 13, bringing the match to all-square.

Crunch time in Marana

It's later in the afternoon in sunny chilly Arizona and some of these here golf matches are getting a little tighter than you'd expect.

Mr. Tiger Woods won the first two holes of his match over Aaron Baddeley, but the Australian Penguin wearer is hanging around, only one-down through 12 holes to Tiger. Since number two, Baddeley is four-under for the day, looking pretty solid if you can say someone "looks" solid by following them online.

Woody Austin and Angel Cabrera have already won their matches over Boo Weekley and Steve Stricker, leaving Tiger as the only top seed left in the tournament. Also, the only 16 seed left in play, Jonathan Byrd, is battling the defending champion, Henrick Stenson, where the match is all square through 16 holes. I bet a friend of mine on Byrd today so the kid better lose the pink pants he's sporting and start making some late birdies.

Also, Monty is going to lose, so those who picked him in your office pool probably aren't going to have as smooth a Friday commute home.

Rankings - Pretty Much Just Another Number

My good buddy over at Roman's Empire dug this up and I thought it was fairly interesting, us both being old Wildcats together.

Mustafa Shakur, the highest ranked point guard coming out of high school, even higher than Chris Paul, is playing professional ball, just not the league he was probably hoping for.

I'm not sure if you're familiar with the term white wash in basketball, but this team page should help explain it a little better.

Yeah, the Prokom Trefl Sopot probably isn't as fun to play on as, say, the Wildcat team with Hassan Adams and Andre Iguodala. I'm not a genius, but that is my prediction.

I can't read polish, but I'm assuming most of those articles are about "poor shooting percentage." If anyone can translate that in Polish, let me know.

Doesn't his profile picture tell a lot about his last five years?

Michelle Wie, Deciding She Won't Suck in '08

With all the PGA Tour tournaments going on this week and things like birdie-birdie-birdie-eagle happening to our day, the LPGA Fields Open might get lost in the mix, as it usually should.

The one thing that is making it a little different is the fact that corpse Michelle Wie actually posted a respectable round Thursday. Wie made six birdies and three bogeys on her way to a first round 69, the first sub-70 round since 2006.

According to the Yahoo Sports article Wie was has decided to live by some catch phrases or something this year.

Those include "having nothing to prove to anyone, enjoying life, forgetting about last year, and not getting ahead of yourself."

I have to say, when you're making in the $10 million a year range from sponsors, living by shit like "enjoying life" is probably a little easier than, say, the guy that had to write that Yahoo Sports article. Again, celebrities and athletes - extremely well-rounded.

Quarterfinals Preview of WGC

An honest question - if you were, say 64th in the world thus having to play Tiger Woods in the first round, would it be more beneficial to your future status on the PGA Tour to skip the WGC for the Mayakoda Golf Classic in hopes of picking up a win and a two year exemption? Hey, I'm just asking.

Today marks the third day of play at Dove Mountain and here is where it starts getting interesting. Watch out for Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els today as they are matched against two tough competitors in Justin Leonard and defending champion Henrick Stenson.

Some of the interesting match-ups, and the word interesting is being stretched to its absolute limit, are below.

Tiger Woods vs. Aaron Baddeley - I'm sorry, I think this is a rout for El Tigre. Baddeley didn't even play yesterday as David Toms retired his match (does that work in sports other than tennis?) and Tiger started getting the 'ol ball rolling.

Woody Austin vs. Boo Weekley - Best way to find these guys on the course - follow the dip spit on the ground. I can guarantee one thing about this match - Esquire won't have any photographers around at any time.

Steve Stricker vs. Angel Cabrera - A good girl friend of mine made an excellent point - when did Steve Stricker become dominant? I mean, we all know he played well in the Fedex Cup, but a one-seed? Seriously? In 2005 this guy was ranked 337 in the world and now he's three? Sorry if I'm the only one that finds this strange. Smoking in Arizona isn't a good thing - Striker continues his "rise" to the top.

A side note - if you guys are interested in watching John Daly play well in Mexico, the time may have come and gone. Daly shot a four-under 66 on Thursday, even with a double-bogey coming late in his round. Today? Yeah, Daly made a double on his fourth hole of the day and is three-over for the day, dropping spots faster than you can say "ninth alternate."

More updates to come.

Mickelson and Sergio Say Adios

I hate to toot the ol' DTCC horn, but so far, so good in predicting these "upsets" in the WGC.

Sergio got spanked by Boo Weekley earlier today and Phil Mickelson lost to Stuart Appleby on a day when, depending on how this Henrik Stenson-Trevor Immelman match turns out, could produce more underdogs winning today than favorites.

So far the most impressive play has been from none other than 16-seeded Jonathan Byrd, the only player in the field that has yet to play even the 15th hole at Dove Mountain.

Tiger Woods was a solid five-under, not counting the first hole which was conceded to him, in his 3-and-2 win over Arron Oberholser while the other top seed left, Steve Stricker, needed a birdie on his 20th hole to hold on Hunter Mahan. Mahan was most impressive in his first round match, where he had seven 3s in just 15 holes, including a stretch where he made four 3s in a row.

Interesting day in the desert, as three huge names are already out before Friday.

And this is a Good thing?

It appears the Cavs are going to get some "help" for Lebron James, if by "help" they mean a big man that's way past his prime and can't score and a there-point threat that was way scarier at Minnesota.

According to ESPN, The Cavs, Sonics and Bulls are in the midst of an 11-player deal that gets ride of Larry Hughes, Drew Gooden, Shannon Brown and Cedric Smith for Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak, Delonte West and Joe Smith.

I believe I had one of those Joe Smith rookie cards back in the day with the basketball texture, really cool. The sad thing - I think that was in about 1995.

Anyway, the Cavs lose two of their top five scoring options with Hughes and Gooden to land a center when they already have a center and a shooter when they already have a shooter (as long as Boobie wasn't kidding with us over All-Star weekend).

I'm almost positive they could have landed Kwame Brown if they would tried just a smidge harder.

I'm Sorry, Kelly Tilghman Sucks

I've had this conversation with just about everyone I know that equally loves golf, but Golf Channel broadcaster Kelly Tilghman sucks. I mean, she really, really sucks.

I watch her broadcasting these tournaments and sometimes daydream of what I'd rather hear over her voice. Here are some of my favorite conclusions:

-Freddy Kruger "nails on the chalkboard" while a baby is crying and a lady is going over the "safety procedures of the Boeing 747"

-William Hung and Mike Ditka singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" as a duet

-The book-on-tape of "Confessions of an Heiress"

-Anytime Emmitt Smith talks

Today alone, Tilghman (Even the spelling her name pisses me off) said the following during the 30 minutes I watched during my lunch break.

(during a blimp shot of the golf course and desert, as they cut to a shot of Jonathan Byrd) "Somewhere out there the coyote is chasing the roadrunner, and we have our own Byrd right here."

"Is this a tougher putt than that of (Arron) Oberholser?" -When discussing a two-footer for par of Tiger Woods

"Yesssssssssssssssss" -after Tiger tapped in the two-footer (sigh)

"Vijay has never made it past the second round in this even so this is the makings of a special week." (Um, yeah, Vijay will probably remember getting past the second round of a tournament for the rest of his life)

Remember, this was 30 minutes of her. If my lunch break was two hours I'd be posting this blog in my own blood.

Kelly, do me a favor - make a racist or crude comment on purpose so we can get you suspended for a couple of more weeks. Please?

Spurs Trade

Hey, did anyone see that the Spurs traded Brent Barry, Francisco Elson and a 2009 first-round draft pick for Kurt Thom... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Interesting Second Round Match-ups at WGC

So, after watching the highlights of a few of Tiger's putts he made to comeback against J.B. Holmes, tipping your hat isn't close to good enough. Are you kidding me with that eagle putt? Was that 50 feet?

Anyway, moving to the second round shouldn't be too hard with a couple of the exciting matches today down in Marana.

Sergio Garcia v. Boo Weekley - Two golfers that normally have a following due to their exciting personalities ("Boo likes fish"), I'm picking Weekley to upset because of Sergio's lack of play this year.

Steve Stricker vs. Hunter Mahan - Along with Tiger, these two golfers were probably the hottest American golfers of 2007. Stricker struggled yesterday so don't be surprised if the one-seed goes does early.

Tiger Woods vs. Arron Oberholser - Hey Arron, did you see Duke lose to Miami last night? I think most sports fans would agree that you wouldn't want to be Duke's opponent the next time on the hardwood. You could probably learn a lot from this point.

Phil Mickelson vs. Stuart Appleby - A couple of vets match-up early in the desert. Yesterday I would have penciled Schmickey in no problem, but after his lackadaisical win yesterday over Pat Perez, Phil could be joining Ernie for club sandwiches and an Arnold Palmer.

Just When you Think you Got Him

Yeah, everyone in the world is Jerry and Tiger Woods is Tom, watching us from a distance try to tippy-toe that last little inch before he snatches us in his palm and stomps away.

J.B. Holmes probably knows this really well. The 16th seed played Tiger today and had him all but on the ropes, three-down after 13 holes and cruising to an enormous upset. The next sequence is only unbelievable if you've never heard of Tiger Woods.

Starting on 14, Woods went birdie-birdie-birdie-eagle to land at one-up with one to play, needing only a par on 18 to notch the first round victory.

In golf, you can't always play your best. Unlike an NCAA game or a basketball game, when you don't bring your A-game in golf you usually can lose to just about any opponent. Tiger does this, but then figures out what the hell went wrong mid-round changing it in the nick of time so he can still pull out the W.

The guy is a machine, if only machines performed as well as he. I can't gush about him enough - it isn't even fair.

Like Tiger Would Go Easy

Yep, just what you expected, Tiger birdies 14, only two down with four to go.

Tiger struggles, Byrd soars

Well, Wednesday has never been Tiger's favorite day, usually a day full of boring Pro-Ams and long practice rounds. Normally, Tiger takes this day to prepare for the golf tournament. I guess Stevie forgot to tell Tiger that on this week, Wednesday was the start of the tournament.

El Tigre is still two down through 12 holes to J.B. Holmes in the first round of the WGC Accenture Match Play Tournament.

Tiger is a measly one-under par for the day on a course that usually yields low scores, even par through three par-5s so far. Sure, taking Tiger right now is still a safe bet, but he's running out of holes.

In other news, 13th seed David Toms knocked off fourth seed Zach Johnson in what can only be called "the reason the rankings are pretty stupid" match of the day.

Also, I want to congratulate myself on the pick of the day, taking Jonathan Byrd over Ernie Els, who smoked Big Easy 6 and 5 for the first 16-over-a-1 seed win this year. Yep, Dogs That Chase Cars - smarter than people that seed these things.

Shit

Man oh man, this could be a pretty historical slaughtering on hands at the Gallery outside of Tucson - Tiger Woods is three down to J.B. Holmes through five holes two down through six holes in the first round match.

Tiger bogeyed the opening hole, a par-5, and Holmes made two other birdies to go three-up before Tiger's birdie on the sixth hole, a par-3.

Even if Tiger pulls out the victory, you won't be seeing a Rory Sabbatini match-up, as he went down 4 and 3 to Bradley Dredge this morning. Sabbatini was the two-seed in Tiger's bracket, getting smoked by Dredge on the back nine.

Also, Colin Montgomerie pulled out the win against two-seed Jim Furyk over in the Sam Snead Bracket, knocking out Mr. Quirky Swing 3 and 2.

Other than that, nothing too crazy has happened. Vijay Singh needed a birdie on the 19th hole to hold on Peter Hanson, advancing to the second round where he'll face Niclas Fasth.

More updates to come, especially with this Tiger-Holmes battle.

Updating the WGC

So, it's mid-morning here in Mountain Standard Time which means a lot of the early matches are getting to the halfway point.

Some of the scores?

Woody Austin, Padraig Harrington and Niclas Fasth are all three-up in their matches, the biggest leads of the day so far in any of the 16 matches underway outside of Tucson.

Some interesting upset possibilities - Colin "Man, That was a Long Nap" Montgomerie is leading second ranked Jim Furyk through five holes, a bit of a stir going in with the old Wildcat playing near his alma mater.

Also, Vijay Singh is all-square through ten holes with Peter Hanson.

Yep, that is about as exciting as it gets during match-play golf. I promise you, it's no March Madness.

Tiger's Perfect Season

If you didn't see this on "Sportscenter," it was pretty entertaining.

A reporter asked Tiger Woods if he ever thought of a perfect season (by the way, nice question dipshit) and Woods answered "No," but he did say he already had one.

El Tigre made it known that when he was 11 he won all 36 tournaments he played in, not losing a single time. He went on to say, "I peaked at 11."

Now, if you're ever wondering why Tiger is so good, this is the reason - the dude has been riding this enormous confidence wave since he was barely old enough to walk, winning 36 tournaments in a row. In golf, that is like - well, there isn't reall a comparison. That is fucking unbelievable.

Anyway, his run at "Perfect Season Dos" begins today as he battles J.B. Holmes at 12:02 PM, MST.

The OTHER tourney this weekend

With the BIG BOY MATCH PLAY tourney starting tomorrow (on a Wednesday, too strange), I figured the least I could do was discuss the Mayakoda Golf Classic (seriously?) one time before Sunday.

The Mayakoda Golf Classic (yep, that's the name) features some of the best players from around all seven continents some professional golfers hoping to win this tournament so they never have to come back and play it again.

Some of the hot names in the field include Bubba Watson, and, uhhhh, hold on a sec, Fred Funk?

Yeah, a lot of the names in that field list wouldn't strike fear in Stevie Williams, but that is why they offer a secondary tournament. Hell, if you win they give you $630,000 plus two more years to defeat the legendary Mayakoda Golf Classic for a second time, so you got that going for you.

Oh, I just read that Jesper Parnevik is playing in the tournament as well, so set your Tivo accordingly.

Yeah, there is your "other" tournament post for the week, enjoy it.

Some Interesting Possibilities...

So, since Tiger Woods is the only golfer worth talking about right now since he's won everything since two months before the Writers Strike, I figured it would be worth musing over the interesting possible match-ups for Mr. Woods.

Second Round - Mike Weir - As long as Weir can dispose of Aaron Oberholser, Tiger will get a shot at Weir after the Canadian beat him in last year's Presidents Cup singles match. I have to say, as competitive as Tiger is, the cup had already been secured by the US and not much was at stake except the possibility for Weir to beat the best in the world on his home turf. I think this could be a statement match for Woods.

Third Round - Aaron Baddeley - The kid can putt lights out, but the last time he was under pressure in a big tournament, he shot 80 in the final round at the U.S. Open. Baddeley can be knocked off his game, and Tiger is the best in the world at mentally abusing anyone with a little self-doubt.

Quarter Finals - Rory Sabbatini - Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. I can just hear the beat writers banging out column after column about this dream match-up. Rory is the two-seed in the Bobby Jones bracket and played college golf in Tucson. Also, if you haven't heard, Tiger pretty much pays people to knock over port-o-pottys while Rory is inside. This could resembled the "Tiger Who?" moment from Vijay a few years ago.

Semi-Finals - Anyone in that Bracket - Yeah, nobody in there is very intimidating or worries me in the least. Maybe Ernie can be five-up on Tiger and then bogey out.

Finals - Phil Mickelson - Yeah, i don't think Mickelson will make it this far either, but you couldn't draw it up any better.

Quote of the Week, Golf Edition

You know, guys like Boo Weekley and J.B. Holmes are the reason casinos can advertise "Everyone leaves a Winner" and get a flock of hopeful gamblers.

"I don't even know the name of it."
-J.B. Holmes, when asked about the venue for next week's WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship near Tucson, Ariz. Holmes is currently slated to play Tiger Woods in Round One.

Accenture Match Play Championship Breakdown

To save you all 32 things to read or ignore, I decided to pull out a few possible scenarios for this weekend in Tucson and which early round match-ups could be interesting.

J.B. Holmes vs. Tiger Woods - The one thing you have to know about Mr. Woods and golf is desert golf isn't his favorite. This makes sense when you look at the one thing that errs when Woods swing is off - his driver. If you remember last year, Tiger was in the desert more than a few times, having to take swipes at the ball from strange angles with uncertain terrain under the ball. A positive - Holmes isn't any straighter.

Zach Johnson vs. David Toms - "Hey kids, you wanna go watch two guys that hit it shorter than daddy?" Over/under on combined putts in this match - 43.

Ian Poulter vs. Soren Hansen - Mr. Hansen must be a touch nervous - who knows when this Poulter-evolves-into-Tiger phase could ensue.

Ernie Els vs. Jonathan Byrd - The biggest upset of round 1.

Phil Mickelson vs. Pat Perez - Sorry Pat, bad time to be paired against Schmickey. As a lovely parting gift you get two free drink coupons to Dirtbags.

It should be an interesting weekend as long as the big names aren't gone by Saturday. These tournaments can lose viewers pretty damn quick when Tiger and Phil pack up to go home.

In a World Without Tiger

To think about golf without Tiger Woods is an interesting concept - what would it be like to never have a true front-runner in every tournament a certain individual plays in?

Greg Hansen, columnist for the Arizona Daily Star, wrote an interesting piece about life in the golf world without the words "Tiger Woods."

The best point he made - If Tiger Woods had never been born — sort of an "It's a Wonderful Life'' of golf — Tom Kite would have won a Masters, Shaun Micheel and Bob May would have won PGA titles. And Woody Austin, too.
Would they still refer to it as a "major'' had May, Micheel and Austin won the PGA?

Anyway, check it out if you have a free minute. It sure beats the hell out of those Lindsay Lohan pictures.

Sergio Will Kick Your Ass (If He Has a Golf Club in Hand)

If you haven't heard this, get excited. Nothing is more entrancing than a guy that pushes Michelob Ultra (yummy, flavored water) getting pissed at a fellow golfer and wanting to kick their ass.

According to Orange County Register, Sergio was playing a practice round on Tuesday, putting out on the 18th green when a ball landed on the green.

The ball apparently came from 22-year-old Anthony Kim, who said he had thought the group had exited the green since the flag was in.

Sergio, fuming and as mad as Sergio can be, told a guy in the gallery, after the man told him he had his back, "I don't need your help, I'll break every club over his head."

Umm, right.

Sergio played well in a major in 1999, became well-known to be a hot head on the course, breaking clubs at times and waggling for fun. Then, he spit in a cup after missing a putt and then choked it down his leg during the '07 British Open.

I guess if you ever wanted to know the true badass side of Garcia, see above picture. Scruff makes you tougher, or so I've heard.

The AZ Wildcat Basketball Team - Making kids drink since 2001!

I went to Arizona, and the Wildcats are the only true team I follow. My heart lifts and sinks with each made or missed jumper, each failed defensive assignment or each successful alley oop.

2008 might be the hardest year to be a Wildcat fan, not just with all the Lute Olson stuff (time has come in my opinion), but the hope you have with some kids and the lack of talent with others.

As a fan of this team, you continually ask yourself things like "How can we NOT have one good big guy with a decent basketball IQ" or "when was the last time we ran a successful final play that showed even decent execution."

No matter, the loss to Stanford was pretty indicative of the season - Cats play a team with a better record but inferior perimeter players, losing the internal and bench battle and struggling to come back from the hole they dug.

This team, assuming they win two games, will make the tournament, leaning entirely on their strength of schedule and their RPI, landing in their all-too-familiar eighth or ninth spot and probably not making it out of the first round.

A once impressive program is becoming more known for letting talent go than bringing it in. Darrell Arthur is a machine at Kansas after deciding last minute to U-turn away from Tucson. Jesus Verdajo was a scorer who enjoyed shooting a lot, something Olson isn't a huge fan of, benching the guard who eventually jumped ship for USF, hitting a HUGE three against UCONN this weekend in their near upset. The last, J.P. Prince, came to Arizona with Marcus Williams as a point guard with size and vision, only needed to perfect a jump shot that had a better shot of breaking the front end of the rim than swishing a net. Prince is now at Tennessee, playing respectable and productively, something the Wildcats could REALLY use right now.

Now, our lineup has guys like Daniel Dillon and Mohamed Tangara, players that would start on the all one-dimensional team. Freshman Jerryd Bayless and sophomore Chase Budinger are counting the days until the NBA draft workouts start, when the team will be left without their only scoring options and a flock of freshman that can either blow up or deflate. The saddest part - the balloon doesn't have that much helium left in it.

Notes From the Golfing Weekend

Disclaimer - This will be the only time a picture of David Duval headlines the page unless he kills his new wife or kills Tiger in his sleep.

A couple of final notes from the Northern Trust Open -

-J.B. Holmes, who was renting the top-spot on the Fedex Cup Standings until Tiger returns from vacation, finished in the top-10 for the second time this year after his playoff win over Phillip Mickelson at the FBR Open.

-Steve Marino, made famous by his third-round 59 in the Gateway Championship in '06, decided to go the other way in the final round Sunday. Marino, looking to make another good check, had three double-bogeys, two bogeys and a birdie on his final nine holes to finish in a disappointing T-49th.

-David Duval withdrew, sighting "inability to produce anything resembling a golf swing" after the first round. Duval played 11 holes on Thursday, making three pars, one birdie and the rest were ugly numbers. This was Duval's fourth tournament in '08, not yet making a check.

-For some reason, the LPGA tournament in Hawaii was only three rounds long. I'm assuming this was so the ladies could catch the entire All-star game?? Anyway, our own favorite golfer, Erica Blasberg, tied for eighth place, her best finish on the LPGA and respectable after being paired with Annikan Skywalker the last day.

-Just like the Friday game I used to play in at Dobson Ranch in Mesa, Mickelson helicoptered from home to Rivieria all week for Northern Trust. I guess sleeping next to a smoking hot blond you have no business next to in your own bed is the best way to prepare for the week.

Critiquing Gatorade Tiger - Quiet Storm

In case you didn't know, Gatorade Tiger has hit the shelves, with three different flavors.

Since Blogger.com doesn't pay me six figures, I only bought one of the brands today, Quiet Storm.

Quiet Storm is the grape flavor of the new Tiger drink, and it tastes, well, exactly like Grape Gatorade.

I have to admit the consistency is a little lighter, but you could taste-test Grape, the new G2 Grape and Quiet Storm and Emeril Lagasse couldn't taste the difference.

Anyway, I know nothing about sales or marketing for a sports drink, but if I was going to pay $100 million to an athlete to pimp a drink, I'd at least change the recipe around so it didn't taste like two vodka tonics with or without a lime.