That Had to Hurt

This was a long time ago, but do you remember the Tiger Woods commercial when he is training the regular guy to be a professional golfer? Tiger hits a drive through a tiny fairway of people and then the regular dude hits one with cardboard cutouts and "kills" about eight fake people with his bad shot?

Well, Anthony Kim was the regular guy yesterday, nailing David Whitfield in the head with an errant tee shot, sending the 48-year-old to the hospital with a "crater-like abrasion" on his grill. Kim struggled after he smoked the guy on 9, struggling to a two-over 37 on the back while Sergio Garcia shot a 34 and is now leading Kim and Phil Mickelson by three.

"I thought I killed him," Kim said. "It was an awful feeling to look down and see a golf ball-sized impression in his forehead and it's cut open. It was probably the nastiest thing I've ever seen."

While Sergio still has some work to do today, this could be the first instance in golf history where someone let another person's head affect their own game.

Check Tag Label - Rut-Ro

See that flag? The blue one with the stars? Yeah, that one is up in three of the four matches.

This cannot be good.

Lets Hope The First Hole Isn't Any Indication

I said yesterday in one of my Ryder Cup previews that these early morning Friday matches were the most important of the entire tournament. In the past three years the Americans lost the Friday matches a combined 16-8, which just puts you in a difficult hole to crawl out of.

Well, the first hole hasn't been too kind to the American team so far. Anthony Kim and Phil Mickelson both lost the first hole to Padraig Harrington and Robert Karlsson's birdie and the second grouping of Justin Leonard and Hunter Mahan made a sloppy bogey, falling one behind to Paul Casey and Henrik Stensen.

Good news for everyone though. Kim is wearing the "AK" belt buckle, even with his Ryder Cup outfit! That has to be some good karma, right?

(Also, I just wanted to throw this out there. We've already had a Citi Group commercial featuring Paul Azinger and Nick Faldo, which poses the question -- is it wrong the players don't really get paid for the Ryder Cup but the captains can make money off endorsements? Also, from this point forward I officially hate Nick Faldo until late Sunday and maybe longer.)

AFP/Getty Images

Tadd Fujikawa's Dad Seems Cool

You remember Tadd Fujikawa, the petite little guy that did really well in the 2006 Sony Open as a 15-year-old.

Now 17, Fujikawa has been playing some European Tour Events. Lucky for him, his pops has been playing a little too much with those European cigarettes (nudge nudge). Derrick Fujikawa might be heading for the slammer.

Derrick H. Fujikawa, 44, is free on $50,000 bail until his trial on Oct. 20. He faces up to 20 years in prison on each of the two felony counts, if convicted.

According to a document released Thursday by the prosecutor’s office in Oahu, Hawaii, Derrick Fujikawa distributed one-eighth of an ounce or more of methamphetamine Sept. 24 and Oct. 4 last year.

Honolulu television station KGMB reported the indictment stemmed from an undercover sting operation. Victor Bakke, Derrick Fujikawa’s lawyer, told the station his client’s biggest concern is the “shadow that this might cast on his son and his son’s career.”

You know, Meth really isn't a good thing. It can rot your teeth, it can ruin your life and it can hinder your son's golf game. I think the next Meth advertisements should just show a kid missing five-footer after five-footer as the dad is shooting up in the background. That is what I call a public service announcement.

Michelle Wie Has Exactly Zero Friends on Facebook

Honestly, I'm starting to feel bad for 18-year-old Michelle Wie.

Not only does she have to take shots from "media" members like myself and others, but now she's landing it from her own swing coach, David Ledbetter.

"It's a shock to me and to her agents that this is happening. I don't think the family is making the right choice. There's definitely more to lose than to gain. I've put too much time and effort into Michelle to be able to sit by and watch this happening without saying something. If she doesn't stick to doing what's sensible, we could see one of the greatest potential talents the game has ever known going to waste."

I mean, honestly, this thing is never going to get any better until one of these people (coach, agent, boyfriend, God) finally put their foot down and take managerial decision-making away from her Looney Toon of a father.

I really believe that Wie's parents should write a book called, "65 Things You Can Do To Make Even a Millionaire Teenager Hate Life."

If Michelle was cast in the new season of "Real World," at this point would it surprise you at all?

Here is the entry form for Q-School Michelle. Do the right thing.

Photo courtesy of David Cannon, Getty Images

Your Daily Racist Comment Brought To You by Dan O'Neill

Honestly, you can't really lead into this story. Dan O'Neill is either a racist prick or ignorant beyond belief and will probably be looking for a blogger domain name here in the next couple of days.

That's 41 down, one more to go for Sergio Garcia.

You remember the No. 42. That was the number of majors Phil Mickelson played in before he won the 2004 Masters. That's the amount of frustration, heartbreak and second-guessing “Lefty” endured before he got that Jackie Robinson off his back.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!?!?!

Did he really just say that?

See, here is what our boy O'Neill was going for. Jackie Robinson was number 42. The reason I know this (and probably why he knows it) is because his number is retired in every ballpark in America. The reason is because he was the first BLACK baseball player ever to cross the racial barrier of baseball. Do you get that -- Robinson was black.

So, maybe using the Jackie Robinson card works when replacing the number "42" but probably not the best move when replacing "monkey."

Here, I'll help you out Dan.

"Dude, how many beers did you have last?!?!?!"

"Bro, I must have like Jackie Robinson'd it."

See. Dude and Bro are talking about how many alcoholic beverages they drank the previous night and instead of saying "42" they used the famous baseball player.

That would have worked. Replacing "monkey off the back" probably isn't going to go over well over the next 24 hours. This should get interesting.

Everyone Loves Oakland Hills

Ever had that girl that you couldn't stand? You hated her smile, her laugh, the way she talked to people and even how she walked but you'd still call her on off nights when you KNEW you shouldn't?

Yeah, that is what Oakland Hills has become. Hosting it's first major since 1996, the touring pros aren't too high on the course, but golf will be played tomorrow, so what do you do? You call her.

I don't think it's fair," said Ken Duke, who shot 73 Friday. "I tell you what, the greens were firming up a lot. They have got to do something to get some water on them."

"The greens are a joke," Steve Flesch said after scrambling for an even-par 70, one of the best rounds of the day. "And the raking — the thing that bothers me the most, honestly, is that they're raking the rough toward us on the tee."

Yeah, it hasn't been solid feedback thus far at the PGA Championship and it isn't going to get any better with golfers most likely having to stay an extra day around the course.

With play suspended, it will be tough for everyone to get in their round tomorrow, making for one of those exciting Monday finishes, only without Rocco Mediate or Tiger Woods.

Oh, and Phil Mickelson? He hates Oakland Hills as well.

"I thought this year's U.S. Open setup was great," Mickelson said.

And what about this week's setup?

"Not so much, yeah, not so much," the world No. 2 replied before refusing to go into details. "I've got to play this thing two more times and I don't really want to go into whether or not it's fair or what have you. Everybody's got to play it."

That's like the story of Ernie Els, who won his first U.S. Open at Oakmont Country Club, a beast itself. After his win in 1994, Oakmont offered him a membership of sorts, telling him he had the option of playing it whenever he wanted. Asked last year if he ever took them up on the offer, he said once, with some buddies that wanted to play. Other than that, he decided to pass.

Kenny Perry Will Not Finish a Single Major This Season

Kenny Perry's major championship roller coaster has finally ended, doing so in equally bizarre fashion as it took off.

Currently the active leader on the FexEx Cup point standings (Tiger Woods is just ahead of him), Perry created an uproar this year by skipping the U.S. Open and the British Open for lesser known PGA Tour events that he already committed to. He did all of this because his main golf this season was to make the Ryder Cup in his home state of Kentucky.

Well, he isn't finishing the PGA Championship either. After a first round 9-over 79, Perry withdrew because of a scratch cornea he suffered Tuesday night.

Obviously it would be tough to play a round of golf in any situation with a problem with your eye, but I'd say he will be working to get this fixed up so he can participate in the Ryder Cup come September. Nothing would be worse than a guy trying as hard as Perry has to represent his country and having to miss out because of injury.

I'm sure he'll be fine, but here is some good will coming from us guys.

Ben Curtis Is Leadi....Oh, Nope, Nevermind, t-48

If you took a few minutes to watch tidbits of the PGA Championship today you had a good chance of seeing someone near the top of the leaderboard that is nowhere to be seen.

Nobody defines this better than Ben Curtis, who was 3-under and tied for the lead through ten holes, and then decided to start playing like the NFL football logo he was wearing, the Detroit Lions.

Curtis bogeyed six of his last eights holes to shoot a three-over 73 and drop 47 spots in the leaderboard.

Also, he has a big bellybutton, or so it seems.

Photo courtesy of Sam Greenwood, Getty Images

Lee Westwood Shot 77, Took It Like A Man

There is nothing better in golf than those guys you have that have never made a bogey in their lives. Sure, they've carded a bogey, but it's because the wind or a bad bounce or the wrong club or a bird or sex from the night before. I hate these people.

Lee Westwood is now one of these people.

I was happy to break 80 after being seven over after 12 holes. Standing on the 17th tee I asked my caddie if he could hear the sea as well as I am sure I could hear my holiday calling. But I dug in there.

I didn't do a lot wrong. The fairways are narrow and unfortunately if you miss the semi by a foot you are worse off than if you miss by 20 yards, which you need to take different people's opinions as the whether that is fair. You have to reward the accurate players like they did at the US Open. If you miss by a shot you have half a shot. I had a shot on the fourth, hit a driver and cos the fairways are firming up, ran through the fairway a foot into the rough and I couldn't even get a lob wedge to the green and I only had a 95 yards to the front. That's the sort of thing you are battling against out there. It is a difficult course any way with the greens and the pin positions to protect it. I am not sure you need rough as long as it is and you certainly don't need to sweep it back towards the tee the night before the tournament when we have played it as it is in the practice rounds.

(The only way to make it fair is to) cut all the rough out. I think the US Open was set up perfectly. It rewards accuracy and penalizes you if you are off liner. I didn't see that today. I asked my partners if I was out of order and they said 'No, if you are slightly off line you are crucified'. In my opinion it is too thick around the greens as well. It takes the skill away from chipping. Yoy don't need it. The course is 7,500 yards long, the greens are firm, and the pins are tucked away. They are sucking the fun out of the Major Championships when you set it up like that.

Wow, sounds like a happy camper. Think he's going to be "in it" tomorrow?

Photo courtesy of STAN HONDA, AFP

In Shocking Events, Michelle Wie Will Not Be Making it to the Weekend

I've always agreed with those critics that thought it was incredible that someone's goal might be to just make the cut. Most of the time, in any sport you're competing in, winning is the only feasible option. You aren't going out in a basketball game hoping to just lose by five or six points. Never is a tennis player hoping to win a single set off his opponent. You play to win, period.

Wie's approach in what will now be her eighth straight missed cut on the PGA Tour has been to make a check, get to the weekend, show she "belongs," whatever that means.

To belong you have to be relevant and Wie hasn't been close since her first chance at the Sony Open in 2004 where she missed the cut by a shot.

Now, Wie is like a lot of us on the course, lost with what she's doing. Decisions, golf swing, putting stroke, it can all be criticized by now. Making the turn today, Wie was two-over for the tournament and needed to finish with at least two birdies.

The par-5 third hole, her 12th, gave her a great chance at birdie, but Wie, in what can only be considered typical at this point, made a double-bogey and all hopes were lost.

Like John Daly, Wie's story is becoming a sad one. You almost hope something good happens to her in the coming months because she's at such a fragile point in her life that she might not be able to recover if the climb continues this steep.

Photo courtesy of KAZUHIRO NOGI, AFP/Getty