Most anything Mel Gibson says at this point is incredibly ridiculous, and should never be quoted the same way I wouldn't want someone sending my mom a video tape of my freshman year of college, but Gibson talked Tiger and, well, here ya go.
'I feel sorry for Tiger Woods,' he says. 'Why are we talking about this when we're sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan? You've got this history-changing event going on and we're talking about Tiger's private life and golf injuries. He's being used as a diversion and it just drives me crazy. You come out savaged. I just think, 'Who cares?'
Probably the most interested part of this entire thing is how much Gibson sounds like commenters on major sports websites.
WHO CARES!?!
WHY DO I CARE?!
CLICK HERE FOR NAKED PICZ OF TAYLOR SWIFT!
Okay, so maybe the last one doesn't apply, but you get the gist. Arguing that we shouldn't care about Tiger because we are sending troops to Afghanistan is, and I quote "The Hangover" here, too dumb to insult. This would only make sense if, say, it was 1951 and we only had a single news organization that got 30 minutes a night to get us all we should know. Now, if that was the case, I'd probably agree. Yep, they should spend their time with major issues.
Well, in case Mel didn't know, it isn't 1951, and we have millions of outlets that can report all sorts of things. Here, I'll give you a mini list of places you could go to get certain types of news.
As you now know, Rory Sabbatini and his frumpy face shot a final round 63 on Sunday at the SBS Championship, but failed to make a birdie on his final hole, the always red-friendly par-5 at the Plantation Course. The birdie cost him a shot at a playoff with Geoff Ogilvy, but .... okay, let's be serious. I'm only posting about him because oh my god what are those pants.
Seriously, it looks like he got in a fight with bleach and lost. Thanks for always giving us bloggers something to write about, Sabbatini. Next week, might I suggest a sombrero?
I am only posting this because I find the line, "& lots of other chicks" fairly hilarious. Honestly, what did people do before photoshop, read books? Gross.
Stephanie Wei and I decided to team up (Go team!) last week and come up with some categories that would help put a wrap on 2009. Since it is already 2010 and most of you probably don't even remember much of last year, I'm here to help you with one more refresher. Check Steph's post right here.
Most Absurd Whine
Remember back at this year's PGA Championship, when Y.E. Yang heroically defeated Tiger Woods to win his first major championship and debunk Woods' perfect record after 54 holes? Yeah, people made a big deal about Yang walking off greens before Tiger putted out, and visa versa. Listen, go to any professional golf tournament, and notice this -- everyone does this all the time. It is part of the trade. It seemed people were trying their damnedest to make Yang look like a jerk, when in reality, he was just being a professional golfer, focused on his game and his game alone.
Best Celebration
Stewart Cink's fist pump after the birdie dropped on the 72nd was great. Y.E. Yang raising the bag after his putt disappeared at the PGA Championship was fantastic. But this one was the best, hands down. Well played, Jason Hargett.
Biggest Choke Job
A birdie on the 16th hole at Augusta National gave Kenny Perry so much breathing room you'd think he could have just tossed the green jacket on before he walked to the 17th tee and played in while wearing it, a la David Simms. But as the annoying folks say, "that's why they play the game." Perry's bogey-bogey finish lost him Masters and the chance to be the feel-good story of the PGA Tour season. It also gave the public (read: men) less face time with Lesslye, his extremely attractive daughter.
Best Clutch Performance
Back in the summer of 2003, I was in a small airport on the east coast, flying back with my dad from a golf trip in Myrtle Beach. We, ignorantly, picked the early Sunday flight during the British Open, and were trying to catch the closing action before boarding. A man by the name of Ben Curtis was on the 72nd hole at Royal St. George's, with a par putt to post 69 on Sunday, and my dad and I both agreed -- if he makes this putt, he might just sneak into a Claret Jug. It was almost like you felt it. The same went for Stewart Cink at Turnberry this year. Failing to birdie the par-5 17th, you almost knew a birdie on 18 could get him into a playoff if Tom Watson started to stumble. When the putt dropped, you could tell he was thinking the same thing. The rest is history, but his 72nd hole birdie was as clutch as they get.
Best Cover-Up
At this point in sports, with all the news hitting the shelves about Tiger Woods and his ladies, I'd say the best cover-up this year is that nobody else has been dragged into the mud. You know these pro golfers are fooling around all the time, and partying and doing the dirty. I'm surprised we haven't heard of any other names. Stay tuned.
Biggest Girl Problems
I'm not sure if you heard, but apparently Tiger has a bit of a thing for girls. Yeah, we were as shocked as you. (Also, I'd like to take a second to give one of my final Tiger rants, and since Steph and I talked about this, I thought it was appropriate here. As golf bloggers, we are obliged to write about things like the Tiger scandal, but at the end of the day, we are all huge golf fans that started doing this because he have a thing for the sport. The Tiger thing crushed us as much as it crushed anyone (except for Elin), because he was our savior, the one most likely to walk on water (which he did, in an EA commercial for goodness sakes) and the one good guy in a world of shitty pro athletes. But above all that, the thing that really gets me about this is Tiger is either A.) way dumber than we all thought or B.) has such an ego that he believed he could continue to get away with all this because, as he once said, "He is Tiger Woods." So, it almost like Tiger duped us, just to show he is better than us, and that is what pisses me off. We all loved the guy, and he had to go and be an asshole like the rest of them. Thanks, bro.)
Best Feel-Good Moment
While some consider Phil Mickelson FIGJAM, nobody can look past what Phil and his wife Amy did for breast cancer this summer when she was diagnosed with the horrible disease. PGA Tour players wore pink. Phil added a ribbon to his hat. Awareness was plentiful. And if that wasn't enough, Lefty decided to play Bethpage Black, and nearly won the U.S. Open, his one unattainable tournament. Maybe it takes something bad to bring us a little closer, so I felt if Phil hadn't been "a man of the people" prior to this season, he sure is now.
Worst Australian
I have to side with Stephanie on this one and go with Greg Norman. A year ago he was nearly winning the British Open, and bringing his new wife Chris Evert around to caddie at the Par-3 Masters Tournament and hug and smile their way around the course. Now, he's divorced and arguably the worst captain in Presidents Cup history (and had to walk around Harden Park with a damn cast on his arm!). Hey, at least he didn't pick a slumping fellow countryman as one of his picks, to the grumbles of others. Oh wait ...
Best Tiger Temper Tantrum
Hey, fore right, gallery!
Least Interesting Golfer
I'm super happy to give this one out to one of my least favorite people on tour, Chris DiMarco. The guy walks around with a look like he just ate a bad sunflower seed, and hasn't been relevant since he nearly took down Tiger at the Masters in 2005. This past season showed DiMarco continue to struggle, carding just four top-25s, zero top-10s and ten missed cuts. On top of that, the former Florida Gator had to see his team suffer in the SEC Championship against Alabama, and he wasn't invited to a single major championship.
Biggest Feud
Anthony Kim versus Robert Allenby was one of the more entertaining, if not bizarre, athletic feuds of the year. If you don't recall, Allenby got absolutely obliterated by Kim in the singles matches at the Presidents Cup, only to complain about Kim partying until 4 AM, saying, "Maybe we should all take the theory of Anthony Kim. Get home at 4 o'clock (in the morning) and then go shoot 6 under."
The best part is the two met again at the Volvo World Match Play Championships, and this picture below was their handshake. Yeah, they look happy to see each other.
Favorite Tiger Mistress
I'm a fan of originality and first to come forward, so I've always had a little soft spot in my heart for Rachel Uchitel. She came forward about this to start, admitted to doing some drugs with Tiger and has been in the rumor mill since about possibly maybe could be hanging with Tiger even after all the news hit. She just seems like the type of girl you'd want to take home to meet your current wife.
The Tom Watson Award
Man, the guy should have won that damn tournament. We love you Stewart, but it would have been the golf story of the decade (that actually dealt with golf).
In a piece by the National Enquirer, a cart girl (Ed Note: Working at a golf course before, if there is one person you can trust through and through, it's the cart girls) claimed she hung out with Tiger Woods in 1999 and did some ecstasy with him.
It is almost like Tiger is .... human! He was single, went out with a girl and did some drugs. Maybe we should bound him to the Lincoln Memorial and cast stones at the man until we right of him of such a disgusting act.
“Tiger and I were partying in Studio 54 at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas when we did Ecstasy together," said Susie Ogren.
To be honest, the only thing I see wrong with this entire story is the fact that Tiger was partying at Studio 54 in Las Vegas! Listen, I barely have any money at all, and I don't go to Studio 54. I'd rather be in Reno.
She went on to say Tiger " took the pill so casually that it seemed to me he was used to doing it," which makes a ton of sense until you realize that ecstasy pills are exactly like any other pill you've ever taken in your life. It isn't like he had to swallow a Rubik's Cube to get high. This is a small pill you knock back with a drink. Oh Tiger, the pill virtuoso!!
I mean, he cheated and that was messed up, yada yada yada. But find me a man in his 20s that has millions of bucks and didn't experience with some random drugs and I'll find a man that is hiding skeletons in one of his 30 closets. Also, if you judge someone for something he did, while single, at one point in his life, you probably are the same guy that protests outside of a Wendy's when they raise the prices on the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. Just sayin' ...
There are moments that take athletes into rare air. Michael Jordan hitting the jumper against the Jazz in 1997 took him from "top five of all time" to "best player to ever touch a basketball." Lance Armstrong claiming his sixth straight Tour de France was something of legends. And Jack Nicklaus, winning the greatest golf tournament ever, in 1986 at the ripe age of 46, took him into another world with golf historians. The guy not only dominated in his prime, but for one day, on his favorite golf course, he could post a back nine that will forever live in hearts of dimple lovers.
Like Cherry Hills is always linked with Arnold Palmer, and the Old Course at St. Andrews rings in with Peter Thomson, Augusta is Jack's playground, and good news came off the wire a couple of days ago when it was announced that the Golden Bear would be joining the ceremonial first tee celebration to ring in the Masters.
Nicklaus said he never wanted to be a part of this event, probably because of pride more than anything else, but Arnold Palmer asked him to join and he accepted, with Gary Player probably on his way to the first tee soon enough to complete the big three.
There isn't much more I can say about Jack and Augusta without ruining it, so here is a video, of that day in 1986, the best golf day ever and one that still, until I'm 80 and ceremonial first tee age, will give me goose bumps to rival the Rockies.
As you probably heard, the PGA Tour season kicks off on Thursday at the Mercedes SBS Championship, a tournament that will couple 28 players together at the Plantation course in Hawaii to try and win an early invite back to this same event next season.
While it isn't a full fledged PGA Tour field (come on, 28 guys?) , it is past winners and it does have a pretty solid group of attendees, including Steve Stricker, Kenny Perry, Sean O'Hair, Y.E. Yang and Geoff Ogilvy.
Along with those are some other intriguing names, like Ryan Moore (is this his breakout season?), Zach Johnson (is he still rocking the white belt/pink shirt combo?), Retief Goosen (I was worried he had passed away!) and Lucas Glover (Still waiting for one sound bite by this guy that will interest me).
The joy of the PGA Tour season is it really never ends. There is time away, especially for the bigger names, but you can only hibernate for a couple of weeks if you don't want to miss any intriguing golf.
So, the big question is this ... come Thursday, will golf be the big story in the golf world (naturally), or will Tiger Woods still be the big story in the golf world? A reasonable guess is Tiger, since he has been the domination story in the sports world for the past month or so, but it would probably help the PGA Tour if a decently big name could come in and win this Sunday, hopefully pushing the headlines towards actual golf and away from jersey chasing females.
No matter, I think I speak for most golf fans when I say, "PGA Tour season is back? I couldn't be happier."
