Things More Likely To Happen Than Elin Nordegren Being on "Dancing With The Stars"

Here is a list of things more likely to happen than the rumors that Elin Nordegren might be on "Dancing With The Stars" next season.


-- Phil Mickelson lands on the cover of "Mens Fitness."
-- Mila Kunis friend requests me on Facebook.
-- I make a hole-in-one.
-- I finish a conversation on my AT&T-induced Blackberry without it dropping the call at least once.
-- A movie about MySpace is nominated for Best Picture in 2012.
-- I get a text from a friend saying "You have to watch Jay Leno last night ... he was hilarious!"
-- Glenn Beck and Jon Stewart are photographed having coffee together.
-- Bubba Watson spells "you're welcome" correctly.
-- This site wins an award for anything.
-- Stewart Cink lands an endorsement deal with Axe Hair Gel.
-- Charlie Sheen gets invited to the Vatican.
-- Tiger Woods wins a golf tournament.

Yep, that should do it.